Saturday, February 8, 2014

Blog blog noodle noodle

So at the beginning of January, I got excited about finishing Cobalt and all the other positive changes that are happening in our lives, so I got bold and tempted fate with a Facebook status update guaranteed to induce an epic fail:


Sure enough, within a couple of days, the epic fail showed up like this:


The van was totaled, and now I'm stuck at home with a serious case of cabin fever. I hate losing my independence! Plus, it was my mom's van I broke. :( She's just glad we're all okay.

I'm not one to be daunted, however. Cobalt's rewriting is going well, I've lost six pounds, and I'm gaining all kinds of editing experience with my new work responsibilities. And I narrowly avoided another fail by deciding to keep my phone's insurance when I was in the AT&T store a couple weeks ago trying to get my bill reduced. The very next day, my smartphone decided to derp out. So my insurance mostly covered a shiny new Android without requiring a new contract or anything.

On the subject of fails, texting fails are some of my favorites. I've had a few good ones, like this one when I was apparently sleep-texting Emily:

All I remember about this is that I actually thought I was answering her question when she was reading Cobalt.

Another good one:



Here, Anya got ahold of my new phone.

Autocorrect struggles are my very favorite kind:


I had a lot more like those saved on my old phone, but they were forever lost when it died.

Now it's time to take care of my procrastinating fail, I guess, and start working on my legal articles!


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Our 2013 in pictures

Blogging the other day was so much fun I decided to do it again! I thought I'd make some kind of year in review thing. No weighty resolutions, nothing fancy - just a buttload of pictures of memorable things that happened in 2013. But some funny things first...

A friend sent this to me from this fun blog. I died. Because everyone loves grammarrrrtically correct pirates.


Don't you hate it when Michael Buble messes with your presents?


And now. Lots of fun things happened this past year that I didn't have my camera handy for, such as when we went to Lagoon and I decided to put my phone in a locker after it fell out of my pocket on a roller coaster (thank goodness it was picked up by a park employee). Most of the time, however, I obnoxiously have my phone on hand to get lots of embarrassing pictures.

Like when I had too many kids to fit on the church steps on Easter.


Or when the kids did weird things at a museum.


We found strange but friendly livestock in our neighborhood.


And snakes!


Someone finally got a job and made something of her life.


And someone got really weird outside the mall.


I turned the big 4-0...


And we had a couple other important birthdays. :)



The cats discovered they're comfortable to sit on.


And I discovered a pretty (but uncomfortable) couch for $16 at Savers!


I lost weight (but not too much).


The girls freaked out over meeting this famous YouTuber in Salt Lake City (same time as the Lagoon trip), mostly known for his hilarious life stories.


We went on a midnight hike and picnic in the desert...


And brought home a cool pet!


Some of us suffered horrendous injuries.



And Emily kind of went insane or something.


We got lost in a lot of corn mazes. I mean A LOT. I didn't know there was so much corn in Idaho, I thought it was supposed to be potatoes?


And we geeked out over some pretty awesome movies.


All in all, 2013 was a pretty good year, and I'm excited to see what 2014 will bring!

While I was looking up a good Olan Rogers video to link to, I found this new video he posted about his Eat A Slice With Me tour. Wow. He's just an amazing guy. Apparently our part of the tour was a bit of a turning point for him, which he starts mentioning about four minutes in, and there are clips of the hours-long line we stood in. Worth every minute.



And now I'd better stop procrastinating on an assignment that's due in the morning! Have a wonderful, happy new year, all you nice peeps. :)


Saturday, December 28, 2013

Musings on what a loser I am, but also kind of a winner

So I haven't blogged since June?! Let's just gloss over the fact that I'm a total blogging loser compared to some of my amazing writerly friends, because I have some exciting news! Before I get into that, a little on what's been going on in the lives of the Baker clan, for those who are interested. If you're not, scroll down to the really weird picture and read from there.

So now I've been working for BKA Content for over a year, and still loving it! It's wonderful to work for a company that makes me feel so valued, even if my bosses are a little nuts. I also hold them responsible for several new gray hairs over the past year. ;)

The kids are thriving here in Idaho and getting good grades. They're in counseling and continue to heal. We just enjoyed our second happy, peaceful Christmas here with my family.



She walked around the mall like this on the premiere night of The Hobbit.

Christmas is also fun for cats who like to lick the Christmas tree! He started opening one of the boys' presents right after I took this picture. O_o


And now, an announcement



Normally it doesn't take me so long to finish writing a book, but I had a few setbacks in the personal life department. I'm back on track and ready to kick butt! I promised my 15-year-old that I'd finish Cobalt by Christmas (because she was going to hurt me if I didn't), and I did manage to finish it very late on Christmas day. She's re-reading it now, and finding some minor typos for me. My goal is to have it polished and ready to submit to small publishers in March (I'll hold off submitting to agents until I get some feedback from publishers).

You'd hurry up to finish your manuscript too if you had this freak following you around threatening bodily harm. Every author needs a motivator like Emily!

So, to celebrate, I'll share a snip from the second-to-last chapter, along with one of Lia's special embellishments at the end. I came out of the bathroom last week to see her skipping away from my laptop. "I like your story!" she said. I was confused for a moment, because she hasn't read Cobalt yet. Then I realized what she must have done. Her best embellishments are the ones that catch me by surprise - although the ones I twist her arm to do for me are pretty good, too.
“Which key is it, which one?” Alexei was frantically jamming one key after another into the keyhole.
“I don’t know!” Kate cried. “Gerta never let me have the keys. Hurry!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying!” There was a loud click, and the door swung forward. Five exhausted, terrified people and one ruffled, hissing squirrel tumbled into the dark kitchen. Everyone scrambled forward and moved out of Anthia’s way so she could slam the door shut. The faint sounds of enraged howling, like a strong wind through the tops of the trees, came through the keyhole. Alexei quickly locked the door, and Kate grabbed a rag from the kitchen table to stuff into the keyhole. For good measure, she pushed a small rug up against the bottom of the door. 
Trembling and out of breath, everyone found chairs to collapse into. Kate yanked the kitchen curtains closed against the shafts of moonlight shining through the barred window, then felt along the wall until she found the switch that lit the kitchen globe.
“Well, everyone,” she said, leaning weak-kneed against the wall, “welcome to my home.”
They looked around. What they saw terrified them. Hanging on one wall was a portrait of a large woman, about the size of a whale, leaning naked against the hull of an airship. Captioned underneath were the words “Sexiest Lady Alive, Gerta.” Resting on a counter they found a jar of eyeballs and a basket full smaller eyeballs, sitting next to a beaker of even smaller eyeballs, which stood atop a tupperware container of the smallest eyeballs you could ever imagine. In the sink they found a half-eaten PB&J and that wasn’t even the worst of it. There was twice as much jelly in that sandwich as there should have been. It would totally overpower the peanut butter! Probably why it was only half-eaten. Whoever made that sandwich must’ve been a huge jerk.


And now, the funnies


 How could I leave my first blog post in over six months without something funny, and some musics?

...yep.



I've had this song stuck in my head the last couple of days. Not this awesome cover, but the original.



Thursday, June 13, 2013

Lia Channels Her Literary Weird Al Again

Yippee, Lia punks Cobalt again, this time playing with some alliteration. I love it when she does this, even if it makes me look back and question my writing style. I wonder if she's making fun of me. Well, of course she's making fun of me! Hehe. She should write an entire Cobalt parody, it would be hysterical.

The first few paragraphs are mine, and then it's pretty obvious when she picks it up.
Their pursuer chose that moment to appear at the line of trees behind them. With a noisy cracking of limbs, it lurched out into the clearing and paused. They could all see it in the twilight: the gray bulbous body supported by what looked like a dozen or more writhing tentacles. It hesitated at the Forest’s edge, looking just as confused by the abrupt end of the foliage as they’d been.
“Looks like the younger brother of the thing that brought the ship down!” Viktor said.
It was true. The creature was many times smaller than the monstrous beast that had attacked the Velia Rose, but it looked no less deadly. The body pulsed and swiveled, until a pair of malignant black eyes glared at the group only a couple dozen feet away.
The beast stared them down malignantly with its muddy eyes. It moved malevolently towards the meek mass of migrants with maliciousness in mind. Suddenly, it did the macarena. Needless to say, the travelers were mystified. Never before had they seen a mollusk macarena with such magnificence.
"My oh my," shouted Milek. "Such majesty!"
"Marvelous," mimed Marty the mechanic.
"Miraculous," mumbled Anthia. The massive mollusk modeled for the multitude.
"Mayhaps I might join your merry mass? We may have many marvelous misadventures and I can match many in mighty melee!"
"Nope," said Kate, and stabbed the squid right between the eyes with her little dagger thing. To this day, nobody knows how she did it because apparently she's not very good at fighting or whatever.
Wait, I'm not done being funny! I want more, before I go back to the day job.





Oh! I had a major fangirl freakout over this one. One of my favorite steampunk bands (I'll post some music below) favorited my 40th birthday tweet!! I didn't even know they were following me. :D



And this time last year:

I Suck Because... - Oh, last year I didn't think we were moving to Boise. And I was switching to my maiden name. Heh. I also had a broken foot. What else is new?

Now...