Faires and Pirates, etc.

My Very First Kiss Scene - Rewritten (by Lia)

2012-01-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

A while ago I posted this one about how I'm a crappy romance writer. You know how you have that first kiss all planned in your head how you want it to look. Something like this:

Bonus points for anyone who knows what this scene is from!

But you're scared that the scene will instead look a lot more like this:

And I'm not generally a pantser (one who writes by the seat of her pants, except I will pants my kids so maybe I really am a pantser after all). I plan chapter outlines down to the last detail. So it came as quite a surprise to me when two of my characters suddenly decided to kiss. I knew they were love interests, but hadn't planned on them kissing for a while yet. I also hadn't planned on the storm, which rolled in out of the blue, but that ended up being pretty good to forward the plot.

So after I finished writing it, I made the mistake of announcing to Lia that I'd finally written my first kiss scene and I was desperately hoping it wasn't too cheesy, or cliche, or reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean (no swordfights, but they're on a ship in a storm). She assured me she would take care of all the awkward parts and edit the scene so it was the hawtest airship kiss ever! (Please note the dripping sarcasm in the previous sentence.)

First I have to explain the Elijah reference, which doesn't make sense now and probably never will, but at least you'll know why she wrote it in. She asked what color Ania's eyes were, and I told her I never actually stated a color in the book, just said they were "dark," probably around the color of my 7-year-old Elijah's eyes, which are so dark brown they're almost black.

“And if I’m wrong and you’re welcomed back into your family, then he’ll still try to marry you to a man you don’t love! No matter what you do, if you try to go home, you won’t get what you want. What’s best for you. And I won’t--” Milek’s voice cracked. “I won’t--”

“No, Milek, my darling! Don’t say it! Even a whisper of what you are about to say might shatter my very soul. It would wrench my heart and cause my hair to gray prematurely!” Ania put her hand against her forehead in a fainting motion.

“But, Ania. I must say it. For if I did not, my own heart would be wrenched! Wrenched like a dirty bolt in a door that has been left to rot! My dear Ania, for shame! You won’t let me tell you my deepest, darkest secret and so my words begin to stumble, to twist, to make absolutely no sense whatsoever! Darling, please!”

Ania’s hair whipped in the wind, twisting itself around her nose, for that was the only thing it could reach. “Say it, Milek. Out loud. Say it.”

“Vampire... Just kidding. I love you, my bodacious darling! And I want to be the only ex-pirate you will ever make out with in a disgusting fashion! You are my hope, my sun and moon, you are my EVERYTHANG, GURL.”

Kate, who was forced to witness this horrendous display of emotion, began to gag.

“Oh, Milek! No one has ever said something so beautiful in the general vicinity of my two ears! Come closer, so that I may besmooch you.”

Milek grabbed Ania around the waist. “Ania, my dear,” he stared lovingly into her dark, Elijah eyes. “Besmooch is not a word.” And with that, he pulled her in close and the two of them shared a disgusting, loud, squishy kiss.

For five minutes.

Until Kate got sick and threw up all over them.

Um. Ahem. Okay, the following is the actual kiss scene. If you can erase Lia's work from your memory, please let me know if you see any of my previous concerns. Cheesy? Cliched? Too obvious I'm obsessed with POTC? lol

Milek had dropped the grin, giving a sad shake of his head. “No, but I know what men like him are like. Caring more for appearances than their own children. You’ve dishonored him, consorted with pirates. If he ever allows you under his roof at all, it’ll be as a servant--or he’ll lock you away and only care for you out of duty! You’ll never regain your status as his daughter.”

Ania drew her arm back and slapped Milek across the face so hard that he staggered against the railing. The sound, like the snap of rigging in the wind, echoed across the deck. Milek stood upright and grabbed Ania’s hands. She twisted away from him, but he dug his fingers into her wrists until, wincing with pain, she was forced to stand still.

“And if I’m wrong and you’re welcomed back, then he’ll still try to marry you to a man you don’t love! No matter what you do, if you try to go home, you won’t end up happy. And I won’t have--” Milek’s voice cracked. “I don’t want--”

“It doesn’t matter what you want.” Ania pulled her hands from Milek’s grip and started to walk away, but he caught hold of her shoulders and turned her back to face him, pulling her close. Ania’s outraged protest was cut off by Milek’s lips pressing against hers.

Kate felt guilty for watching, but couldn’t tear her eyes away as Ania gradually stopped struggling to break free from Milek. The kiss lingered past the storm’s first drops of rain. Finally, her cheeks burning, Kate tiptoed up the steps leading to the main deck, thinking Ania and Milek looked like they were quite capable of sorting out their disagreement by themselves.

Oh! Have any of you guys tried Blogger's new comment nesting feature? I can reply to individual comments and I love it! And I have one more question: You know the little Favicon up in the address bar? I changed mine almost 2 months ago but I still see the old one even though it's saved to the new one in Blogger's settings. What do you guys see?

Also, mosey on over to my post on ANWA's blog for a picture tour of my favorite local place to visit!

My Birthday Present!

2012-01-26T02:09:00.000-08:00

Last week at writers' group Dennis showed up unexpectedly. He announced his presence by sneaking up behind me and resting his chin on the top of my head, which didn't get any reaction from me, much to my writer friends' confusion. Well, I'm used to people hanging all over me! In fact - and I'm 100% not kidding here - just as I was typing that last sentence, Lia came up behind me and squished into the back of my head so she could see what I was writing. So at Barnes & Noble, I thought it was Lia or her friend Cheyenne who was being cuddly and I just let them carry on. But when some of the people in my group started casting amused glances over the top of my head, I turned and jumped out of my skin when I saw it was my husband instead of one of the kids!

He just said he wanted to show up and hang out and browse the books. I was like, okay, whatever floats your boat honey, I'm about to read my scene now so goawaykthanksbye.

When we were going home, I noticed Dennis and Eva whispering conspiratorially to each other. "Give it to her now!" I heard Eva say. Then I deduced something, and my sneaky deductions were correct. The hubby had gone to B&N to get me one of these:

My birthday's next month, actually. And it didn't really look like that. It was more like this:

And I was like "No I want it now!" *yoink* Because I already knew what was in the bag. The hubs had dropped some hints.

A shiny new Nook! I have a brown leather cover too, which I stole from Dennis because he didn't seem to like it. See, he got himself one for Christmas. He'd been wanting one for a few months, and since he got a surprise bonus from his job I told him he should treat himself. It's been a rough year and he really deserved it. I never wanted a reader for myself, though. I scoffed at them. I like the feel of pages between my fingers, and I love the smell of a new book. Yes, I do stick my nose in a book, quite literally, and I inhale deeply. Because I'm just creepy that way.

Well, poor Dennis didn't get to use his Nook all that much over Christmas break. The kids took it for the coloring app and the little games he'd downloaded. I played Angry Birds for hours on end (I was really in the mood to smash stuff). He just wanted to read and watch Netflix movies, but we only let him have his reader long after everyone's bedtime.

So when he started dropping hints that he might get me one for my birthday, I made that face that told him I'd really want one but he shouldn't get it because we couldn't afford it. I don't know how he did, and I'm not asking. Because I kinda think I deserve a new toy too.

He uses his Nook mainly for reading really bad free or 99-cent D&D fiction, or watching movies. And now that I have one, he gets to use his much more often. It's my turn to beat the kids away with a stick! I do have a book on it - Boneshaker by Cherie Priest, because I've lost the paperback twice and the second time I never found it - but the apps and wifi keep distracting me from reading! There's Angry Birds, of course...

Because I'm an angry mama bird and still feel the need to smash things!

And this more-addictive-than-crack game called Doodle Jump. I think I need to ban myself from the apps altogether.

Dennis had done some research on the Nook, the Kindle, and the iPad. So I don't know why Dennis chose the Nook over the Kindle; I have zero knowledge of the differences between the two, but he kept going on about how he was more impressed by the Nook. And the iPad was just too expensive. I don't care, I'm happy because it works and it's awesome, so no complaints from me.

What do you guys prefer? Nook, Kindle, iPad, or good old-fashioned book? If you have an e-reader, what do you use it for, besides books?

Although I'm in love with my new gadget, I really really love my messy desk with the teetering piles of "real" books. (I'd like a bookshelf someday, though.)

There's not even room for my laptop in all that mess! Especially when Oreo wants in on the fun.

There's just some kind of magical charm about a room full of books that an e-reader will never be able to replace. I'll give e-books a chance, but I have a feeling my true love will always be one of these:

With real pages I can turn, stick a real bookmark in, and press into my face to inhale that dry, slightly musty scent that promises adventure and excitement. My Nook doesn't have a scent that I can detect. Although I have to admit, the leather cover does smell pretty cool.

Now I'm off to play some more Doodle Jump...

Fatty Catty, An Adorable Baby, and An Adorably Weird Husband

2012-01-22T23:25:00.000-08:00

So...the hubby has been renting bad movie after bad movie thanks to that cursed Redbox! I'm kinda losing my mind over here. Funny pictures? Okay, me too.

I'm totally this kind of mom:

When I got my first request for a full, I reacted like this. And I did break a toe.

Oh no, these are the last of my Harry Potter funnies! I need to have Lia find some more.

Aww, I just love adorably shocked newborns!

Not so sure about adorably shocked hubbies...

The Sims Saga

2012-01-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

A couple of my kids have taken a break from playing Skyrim (shock) to get reacquainted with The Sims. I don't know how many of you are familiar with that game. Basically, it's where you have a character or a family that you direct in day-to-day situations, such as a job and social interactions, fix up their house, buy furnishings and gadgets, and try to keep your people happy. Each Sim has a different personality that you customize when you're creating your character, so different things will make each Sim happy. Some Sims are shy and uncomfortable in social situations, while others are party animals, for example.

Well, a few years ago our family was on a Sims kick. I even got into it for a few weeks until I remembered I have real-life stuff to do, and I wandered off to work in my real-life kitchen and try not to set myself on fire. But I did have a lot of fun with it, and there are some memorable Sim moments that we still laugh about. A few nights ago, we reminisced about some of our Sims' adventures.

Lia was 10 or 11 when we got the first version of the game, and Emily, at 5 or 6, decided to try playing too. It's difficult to keep even one Sim happy, let alone juggle an entire family, but she always wanted the whole package. A mom, a dad, and at least two kids. She'd inevitably come running out of the room crying like she was badly traumatized. The reason? She couldn't properly take care of so many characters, so the social worker would come and take her kids. Then she'd just add more kids (by the act of "woo hoo", where the characters jump under the bed covers and giggle a lot while bouncing around, then you have the option to allow your Sim to become pregnant), and a day or so later she'd start sobbing again because her new kids were taken away. The social worker wore a bunny costume and hopped into the house, grabbed the kids, then hopped away, and the mother Sim would sob for a few minutes before getting over it and wandering into the kitchen for a snack.

I'm still a bit shocked that Emily doesn't have a lasting fear of the Easter bunny, or of social workers. Oh, and incidentally, you can also woo hoo in hot tubs. I ended up banning the kids from woo hoo-ing at all. "Do not make your Sims woo hoo, or you're grounded from the game! That's only for grownups!"

Lia's first Sims were based off her Aunt Lara and Uncle Ted. They resembled the real Lara and Ted in name only. Sim Lara had short hair and a giant butt, and dressed in tacky running sweats--the complete opposite of my thin and glamorous sister. Sim Ted was kind of a spaz. Well, so is my brother-in-law, but his Sim counterpart caught fire to the stove while cooking macaroni and cheese, and he died trying to put the fire out. The real Ted is a gourmet chef. Lia doesn't know exactly how it happened, but somehow Sim Lara made a deal with the grim reaper and Sim Ted came back as a green undead Sim, and they went about their daily lives as if nothing was unusual. Even the neighborhood Sims didn't seem to mind that their neighbor was a zombie, and he was still invited to their parties.

I should explain that different players on the same game disc can have Sims in the same neighborhood, and they interact with other players' Sims. This led to no end of nonsense. My method of playing was to use a cheat that gave you unlimited money (if someone has the cheat code for that in real life, please send it to me), so my Sims never had to work. They bought mansions and lavishly decorated them, then pursued their interests until they were the freakin' happiest Sims who ever lived. Sims like to throw parties, it makes them very happy to have lots of neighbors attend and have a great time, so I became a party-planning genius. When my kids' Sims showed up at my house and developed friendships with my characters, madness ensued.

If I can't have a house like this in real life,
I might as well get one in the virtual world. Right?

When Sims 2 came out, we all started playing anew. Lia must have been 12 or 13 at this time. She'd create a male character, and tried getting him interested in the local girls. (You can develop relationships in the game, and have your Sims get married and raise a family.) For some reason, her male Sims always ended up in a hot tub or swimming pool flirting with a neighborhood guy. She'd get frustrated, delete him, and create a new character only to have it happen again.

I had my own frustrations with my little Sim family. My characters were a married couple who didn't get along no matter what I tried. They refused to start a family together. One day, they were clothes shopping at the mall, and my female Sim kept nagging her husband. He'd glumly follow her around, trying on shirts. Lia's new character walked in and struck up a conversation. Since my guy's social bar was way low, I was happy to see a new budding friendship. Then they both started dancing in the store among the clothing racks! Little animated hearts floated over Lia's Sim's head. Then my female Sim came over and got into a huge screaming match with both guys.

"Guess what?" I said to Lia when she got home from school. "Your new Sim fell in love with my character's husband!"

"AAAAAAGH!" she screamed, and stomped off to the computer to delete him and create a female character this time.

Emily's Sim was this weird guy in a green kilt. I can't remember what she named him, but we all called him Kilt Guy. He was a womanizer who showed up at everyone's house at odd hours and got into their food. By this time, I'd abandoned my unhappy couple and created a single female Sim, hoping to have her fall in love with a cute guy and get her married. She had an awesome house and threw rocking parties, even though she was a bit of a social recluse who played piano like a maestro.

She had a parrot that she spent hours teaching to talk (hours in the Sim world take seconds in real time). Just when that parrot was getting really cool and smart, he up and died for no reason! When I was still sitting there gawping in shock, my Sim walked into the room in her pj's, noticed her dead bird, and stood in front of his cage for 2 hours bawling her eyes out. Then, suddenly, she forgot about him and went off to play the piano. Her maid came in, shook her head at the dead bird, and threw him in the garbage.

I decided to set my Sim up with Kilt Guy. After a whirlwind courtship of all of one day, she accepted his marriage proposal, they got hitched, and he moved in. I soon got really annoyed with Kilt Guy. For one thing, he kept flirting with all the other neighbors during our parties. And he was a huge dork. I didn't want to delete my Sim and start over, since I'd worked really hard to develop her skills and talents. I didn't know if Sims would get divorced, but I figured it was worth a try. So I had her pick fights with him at every possible opportunity. Finally, she threw him out. He walked off sobbing, and I did feel bad for him for about one Sim hour. But he kept coming back, incessantly ringing her doorbell when she was practicing the piano, or crashing her parties when he wasn't invited. They'd argue and he'd leave crying.

I created another character, a guy based off Depeche Mode's Martin Gore (yum). Since I planned on hooking him up with my Sim, I only gave him a tiny one-room shack to live in. I soon realized he needed a toilet, since they'll get really unhappy if they can't pee anywhere. So, not wanting to waste time building additional rooms, I stuck his toilet in the living room. Then I set about getting Martin and my Sim to meet.

They spent their first date watching tv at Martin's house. Apparently my Sim had really low standards, since his shack didn't seem to bother her at all. He cooked her a meal without setting fire to the kitchen, and they were getting along great--until he had to pee. He refused to go in front of her, since the toilet was located right next to the tv. Moving it out to the yard didn't work either, because apparently Martin was really modest. (Unlike some Sims. My friends Heather and Joe told me about when they were playing, they stuck a toilet in their front yard next to the mailbox to see what would happen. Random people would walk by, stop and ponder the toilet, then sit down and use it! Even the mailman.) Finally, Martin just lost control of his bladder and had an accident all over the kitchen floor in full view of my Sim. She just sat there laughing hysterically at some tv show she was watching, while he cried like a baby and mopped the mess up.

Still, for some reason they refused to fall in love no matter how many times I had them hang out together. They were great friends, though. Until I bought a heart-shaped hot tub and stuck it in Martin's yard. Then all kinds of girls fell in love with him, including my Sim. She got pretty catty with the other neighborhood ladies. I'll have to admit I did too. "You get away from Martin, you hussy, he's MINE!"

They had a lovely backyard wedding attended by almost all the neighbors. Kilt Guy crashed their reception, got drunk, yelled at a buffet table for getting in his way, then jumped into the hot tub and started hitting on all the wedding guests.

Dressing Your Characters! (Steampunk Edition)

2012-01-11T01:52:00.000-08:00

Normally I don't go into detail describing clothes. Even though I write fantasy, and the clothing my characters wear look detailed and fantastical in my head, I try to limit descriptions of anything, including clothing (especially clothing) to one or two paragraphs. Or I'll drop hints during the narrative or dialogue that give the reader a few clues about what the characters are wearing, and let them fill in the blanks with their own imaginations. Usually readers don't like lengthy descriptions.

But if you know steampunks, you know they love their fashion. There's a scene in Cobalt when Kate and Ania need to change their clothing to blend in with a less fancy crowd. Because of a condition Kate has, her own clothing needs to be adjustable, and a couple times I thought it was needed to remind the reader of that fact, so it didn't look like I was being careless and forgot.

But mainly, I just wanted to have some fun dressing up the girls in some cool steampunk outfits! There are a couple of pictures at the end of this post that slightly inspired Kate's clothes, but read it first and then tell me if I painted a decent enough mental picture.

It’s off with the girly petticoats, and good riddance!” Ania cut into Kate’s thoughts by tossing a garment at her head. “Here’s a pair of trousers that would suit you. See, the fabric is flexible, and there’s a drawstring waist. Milek, get out of here. Women are getting dressed.”

Milek shrugged and headed down the hall to pillage some more. Ania removed her dress and petticoats, then pulled on a plain brown tunic with some black breeches. “It’s a lucky thing Stark is a small man.” She selected a leather belt with many little compartments, hooks, and loops attached to it, and strapped it around her waist.

Kate looked at her trousers with distaste, not wanting to wear anything that had touched that man’s backside. “It’s threadbare. The seams are starting to wear out along the seat.”

“It can’t be helped, it’s the most adjustable item of clothing I could find.”

“Why can’t I just keep what I’m wearing?” Kate had grown fond of her shift with elegant, flowing sleeves, and the embroidered bodice.

Ania eyed her friend’s cream-colored skirt that might have been constructed with just a few too many ruffles and bustles. “You could keep the top, but we’re no longer luxury passengers. We’ll be traveling in questionable company at best. That skirt’s a bit too enticing, and impractical for traveling on a merchant ship. Come here a moment.”

Ania found a small pair of tarnished scissors in their pile. Kate stifled a dismayed cry as she started snipping around the circumference of the skirt, until the lower half fell to the floor in a heap of of silk and lace. Her bare legs stuck out of a skirt that barely reached mid-thigh.

“There. Now put the trousers on. What’s left of your skirt will hide the threadbare spots.”

The faded brown pants fit snugly around her legs, easily tucking inside her boots when she pulled them back on. She looked at the chopped-off remnants of her skirt with a regretful sigh. Leaning down, she tore a strip of lace from the ruins, then tied her hair back.

“Look what I found.” Milek took two steps into the room, then stopped dead. “Oh, can I come in?”

“Well, you don’t see any bosoms hanging out, do you?” Ania started lacing up her boots.

Kate caught a glimpse of polished silver and gleaming faceted blue in Milek’s hands. “What is it?”

He held it out to her. A black leather belt and sheath, etched with swirling designs, encased a delicate silver hilt embedded with round sapphires. Like miniature globes, they shone the exact color of Cobalt. She grasped the handle, carefully pulling it out of its leather casing to reveal a slim blade, gleaming blue-white from the light of the real Cobalt lamps in the room.

“The wardrobe in his bedroom,” Milek explained in a hushed voice. “I found a hidden compartment full of personal items. I have a feeling they belonged to the other Cobalt-touched he’s abused in the past. I left the others where they were, but I thought this suited you. And, after what you did for Ania, I think you deserve it.”

Kate didn’t know what to think about taking something that had once belonged to another person like her. One who wasn’t lucky enough to get away. She looked over at Ania. The other girl nodded, her eyes appraising the wickedly sharp blade and the expertly crafted belt. “I think the knife’s previous owner would be grateful if you took it away from that evil man.”

Hesitating a moment, Kate sheathed the knife, then strapped the belt around her waist. “In that case, I think we should take all the things out of that secret compartment. Dr. Stark shouldn’t keep any of it.”

“Agreed.” Milek grabbed a pack from the pile and went back down the hall.

Halfway through attaching her own knife to a loop on her belt, the same one Kate had used to cut out the parasite, Ania stopped to give Kate a second glance. “You look just like a pirate now.” She laughed. “You know how I feel about pirates, but--once we’re in the streets of Murdock, it won’t hurt to give others the impression that they’re better off leaving us alone.”

I love Magdalene Veen's vagabond steampunk style, but since Kate is 12, the half-skirt would be topped with a more modest shift and bodice. This skirt is very cool, though, just about what Kate's would look like.

I have this exact same chemise and corset, from Damsel in this Dress! (Except mine is burgundy with gold embroidery. The color of Kate's, if I remember correctly from a previous chapter.) The bodice's lacing makes Kate's top as adjustable as she needs it to be.

Rather than brown leggings, these are tights, yet have the same kind of look with the pants under the shorter bustled skirt Ania "made" for Kate:

Hmm. Although I didn't model Kate after myself (she's too skinny, lol), the clothes she wears in this scene pretty much describe the type of outfits I like to put together. *sheepish grin*

Now I need to ask your honest opinions. Am I describing too much in this scene? Did I balance the action and dialogue well with my descriptions of their clothing? Or did I let my love for steampunk fashion overwhelm my storytelling?

And, as always, I want to know your methods. How do you describe something your character is wearing? Especially if it's something unusual or has a specific design or function, such as Ania's belt or Kate's knife?

On Back Shavers, Victorian Mosh Pits, and Lia

2012-01-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

Once again, Lia has made Cobalt look really silly. In this scene, our heroes have escaped misfortune and find themselves among the crew of a modest merchant airship, the Velia Rose. Although at first glance the captain and crew appear normal and respectable, once Lia sabotages my laptop, the scene takes quite a different turn. Poor Kate and Ania! Will they ever get a break?

Despite her injury, Ania zipped up the stairs almost too fast for Kate to follow. Taking the hint, Kate stopped on the first step and turned back, holding Ruby close in her folded arms. Her eyes swept over the close-packed boxes and barrels. The ship had looked too small from the outside to fit such a cavernous space within its hull, Kate thought.

Crewmen ran to and fro around the hold, shoving more crates into place and beating anyone who got in the way. One crewman was so flustered, he grabbed his back shaver and ran it across one rich man’s head, giving him a reverse Mohawk. Another crew member took a woman, ripped off her corset, and threw it off the side of the ship, then threw her off the ship as well. The ship was in chaos. The crewmen were going nuts, and Ania and Kate were right in the middle of it, trying to avoid being shaved or kicked in the booty. Kate tried to duck around a mosh pit, but was whacked in the face by a rogue boot. Ania, even with her injury, threatened to murder the next person who tried to French kiss her. Finally, Ania and Kate managed to wade through the dog piles and flailing limbs and made it to the other end of the room and escaped through a body-shaped hole.

Abney Park's Ophelia, although crewed by musical, drunken pirates,
still seems more respectable and sane than the crew of the Velia Rose!

In related news, I'm collaborating with a friend of mine for a really exciting project involving both music and steampunk, but I can't say much about it yet. It should be ready in about a month or so. Let's just say the fangirl in me is doing some major squee-ing!

And now this post is getting me in the mood to work on Cobalt some more. It's been a few weeks since last I wrote, which is sad because I'd really been on a roll. If I can pick up "steam" again (heh heh) and get back to my old speed from the last time I worked on that scene (minus the airship moshpit and slapstick madness), I think I'll be done with this book in no time!

Forwarding That Plot

2012-01-06T14:35:00.000-08:00

Joe, a guy in my local writers' group, has a catchphrase that he'll use whenever someone reads a scene or chapter in which nothing in particular happens. This phrase inevitably results in giggles from the rest of the group, confusing the newbies.

"Exactly what happened in this chapter?"

Joe says it in a slow and scholarly manner. The reason we find it so funny is that the phrase originated from the time a former member would read long and tedious chapters out of his vampire book - chapters in which nothing. Really. Happened. Even the infamous sex chapter, which vampire guy had been promising for months would be epic, and which I also missed due to a tonsillectomy. But I heard healing from throat wounds was probably a lot less painful than sitting through that chapter.

Anyway. The giggling would commence because this particular writer would refuse to budge on even the most obvious plot problems. Everything was written in stone, and we wondered why he wanted critiques at all (actually, what he wanted was an audience to give him blind praise). Head injuries from repeatedly banging our skulls on the table in frustration were common during those dark times...

Eventually vampire guy left because we just didn't "get" his genius. Too true, too true...

So my personal opinion is that the five most important words you can ask yourself after writing a scene or chapter are exactly what Joe will ask: What happened in this chapter?

You need to be driving the story forward, or risk your readers rolling their eyes or worse, setting your story down and not picking it up again. The sad thing is, I've read published books where nothing in particular happens until page 100 or so. I mean, it's okay to take a bit of time setting up your main plot problem, but you're gonna have to make sure something happens in every single scene to forward the story, or it's just plain boring.

In general fiction, you can afford to take your time a bit, but it's especially important in YA to get to the main conflict sooner rather than later. It's this element of YA that I really love: You can read a 300+ page book that's action-packed, since a good YA writer will know her target audience doesn't like to wait around.

One of my favorite fixes for this problem is to answer the question with some conflict. Whether it happens in dialogue, action, or internally, conflict forwards the story. You don't have to have conflict in every scene; in fact, that would probably make your book too tense, and therefore an exhausting read. So if you're writing a scene without conflict, make sure you provide enough of something else to make the reader want to keep turning the pages. Maybe a tantalizing hint or foreshadowing of what's to come. Some humor. Some interesting dialogue that answers a few questions about the mystery or plot conflict that the book's about. A great kiss - or a scene that almost leads up to a kiss, but leaves the reader waiting for it for just a little bit longer (which probably adds a bit of conflict too).

Just as long as everything in the scene is absolutely needed as a building block for the rest of the story. If it's useless fluff, you'll have to cut it out, regardless of how much you love it. I've had too many of those scenes myself! I couldn't bear to wipe them from existence, so I have them saved in a "deleted scenes" folder.

When you go back for the revisions, make sure to keep an open mind, listen to your beta readers (especially if they're all saying the same thing), and don't have the attitude that every scene is written in stone, and therefore can't be deleted or changed in any way.

How do you guys solve the problem of a slow spot in your WIPs? Got any favorite catchphrases you or your writers' group friends use to keep you on track?

Oh Never Mind, I Can't Stay Away Y'all!

2012-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

I was doing some grumbling on Facebook, which is against character for me, but I've been grumbling a lot lately. I usually try to stay upbeat and save the drama rantings for my family members. But some of you already know what's been going on, and for those who don't yet, don't feel left out. I'm not really one for sweeping things under the rug, and I fully believe some bad secrets need airing out or they'll end up stinking something horrible. Plus, I'm about to become an advocate for this cause, which means secrecy is pretty much out. But at the moment, I'm not even sure how much I can legally say.

Suffice to say for now, very soon I'm going to be fighting to keep my family together, to heal my children, and to make sure a certain sick, evil person is out of our lives for good. My husband and I are going to need all the prayers and support we can get to stay strong and united, and to come out of this as better parents and better spouses to each other. Maybe a little battle-scarred, but stronger. And I will keep you all updated when I can.

Anyway--back to the grumbling. Earlier today, I'd made a New Year's status update resolving to not post any more bummer status updates. (This was quickly followed by two more updates about stepping on dog barf, getting food poisoning from bad milk, pulling dead skin out of a razor after my 11yo had a bloody shaving accident that has probably scarred her legs for life, and then getting knocked into the Christmas tree when my 18yo jumped up from the couch and bumped into me and I rebounded off her chest. See? I take my New Year's resolutions very seriously.)

So my friend Elizabeth responded that I never seemed like a bummer to her, but she wished I would get back to the blogging thing. And I was like, okay. I've been missing the blogs, and funnies, and writing. And this is a good thing! Crap happens, and it's how you deal with it that often determines your mental state at the outcome. I've always handled difficult situations with a healthy helping of humor, and a few servings of optimism. Sometimes I need to be reminded, though.

I didn't think I felt up to posting a Monday Funny, but my unscheduled flight into the tree ornaments reminded me that I need hilarity to function. In the upcoming weeks, I might miss a funny or two, or maybe I'll even take a little more time off. I have no idea what to expect. But I'm very grateful for my friends who have sent me such kind emails over the past couple of weeks, and also those on Facebook and a few in person (I do have one or two local friends!) who have helped me get my head back on straight, and looking forward instead of down.

Well...it is Monday, after all. How about a funny?

I love the following videos! This granny is too cute for words. The hooligan verbally abusing her is her great-grandson in real life. Sadly, she passed away not too long ago. She reminds me a lot of my own grandma, who is still with us and crazy as ever!

Grannies are for pwning noobs! After seeing how mean Julian supposedly is to his grandmother, it was nice to see the next video, where he shows a lot of love and patience trying to teach her a difficult word.

Now I'm off to clean up my kitchen, which has exploded with food storage my mom and new step-dad gave us (here's a reminder to rotate your food storage, everyone! A lot of it expired in 2006, hehe), and then I'm going to make some homemade pumpkin hot chocolate! And go check out my post for today on ANWA's blog. :)

Might be off for a while...

2011-12-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

Due to a family emergency, I probably won't be posting very often until further notice. Not until things start to settle down, and I really have NO idea when that might be, because I have a bad feeling the storm hasn't even started. I'm okay to talk via email, but not publicly, at least not yet. We're okay, but prayers are appreciated. I think we're about to face the real test of our faith and strength, and I'm sure I'll need support.

Funnies!

2011-12-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the week again. Funny pictures! Gosh, I always make these posts on Sunday night and then I can't wait until Monday to post them. :B

You have to click on the next one, because it's an animated gif. XD

Don't get offended! As a female driver who drives better than her husband, I still found this hilarious.

This is crazy, I don't even... But that's why I like it!

Umm...

Story of my life!

And now for the eye candy portion of this post:

It's freaking Voldemort. The Dark Lord! What?
Where do I sign up to get my Dark Mark?

Neville Longbottom?!?! Umm...yeah...If he's over 21, it's not very creepy if I look, right?

I know! *cries*

Lia and I are going to watch all the movies sometime and do this!

And then see how sore we are the next day.

The following is my Christmas gift to you. It's not a funny, but it could be if you make it in the middle of the night and hog it all for yourself! Okay, probably not a good idea. A normal-sized piece of this cake is almost too much. Super easy recipe, and so so delicious!

Click the picture to go to the recipe at Life as a Lofthouse Food Blog. :)

Merry Christmas, everyone! I'll probably post once more before I head over to my mom's in Boise. Go read my post on ANWA's blog to see the reason it's an extra special holiday season for my family!

Cobalt Gets the Lia Treatment - Again

2011-12-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

I was going to do pictures again for the Monday Funny, but then this happened.

Starbucks closed early, so we went to Denny's for a writing night (bad idea for my waist!). While I was busy setting the picture on the left as Lia's phone's background, she was improving the current scene of Cobalt.

The first paragraph is mine, and her handiwork follows.

A few minutes later, the gangplank creaked as a pair of boots descended the boards. Ruby hopped from Milek’s shoulders to Kate’s as the captain stepped forward, a wide smile on his face and his hand outstretched in greeting.

“WELCOME,” shouted the captain. “I would like to welcome you all to my cannibalistic express, my pride and joy, the airship, Squiggly Figgigiddy Giggy. My name is Sally Bootygrabber, and I will be your host on this fabulous trip.” Captain Sally took hold of everyone’s booties (he could do that because he had five arms. One stuck out of his forehead and would grab or smack anything that dared come close, like Kate’s face) and led them on to the ship.

What they saw inside surprised them. The walls were lined with pictures of boy bands with spiky hair and clothes too large to fit on their bodies, and the carpets were designed with paint splatters. The passengers on the Squiggly Figgigiddy Giggy were wearing all manner of crazy costumes. Kate saw one lady wearing nothing but a medieval bikini made of steel with plastic fish hanging off the boob area. She had a hat the size of Canada on her buttocks, and a chicken strapped to her head. Kate saw many things on that ship, but decided to block them from her memory. The end.

I worry about Lia. Her embellishments are always sort of naughty. After we finished up our writer's night, much too late, I chatted with my former boss Cindy before we left. She asked what else was going on and I said we were going to go home and watch My Little Pony. She shook her head, said, "Why do I even ask these questions?" and walked away. Then we headed home, but drove several times around the neighborhood first until "Goonies 'R' Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper was finished playing on the iPod.

The end.

Can You Guess Kate's Age?

2011-12-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

I found out about Brenda Drake's super fun blogfest from my friend Robin, and thought I'd enter my character Kate Lebel from Cobalt. It's a simple contest, really. I post the first 250 words from my book, and you guys try to guess her age. No cheating now! I tell Kate's age in a few other posts and my description of the story elsewhere in my blog.

There's a linky for the official rules and stuff in the picture below. And my entry follows! :)

Auntie Gerta was a big woman, pale and solid like a whitewashed wall, a wall which now towered over Kate as she washed the breakfast dishes. She jabbed a pudgy finger between the girl's shoulderblades.

“Don't think I'll let you off easy after yesterday's mischief.”

“I wasn't, Auntie.” Kate stopped her scrubbing to look her aunt full in the face; she hated that.

Gerta sniffed. “You'd think I’d know all your little tricks, all these years I've been caring for you since your father died. But you just keep pulling more out of thin air! Must be your curse...”

It was the same old argument. Kate tried in vain not to let it rile her up, but Auntie Gerta always knew which memories hurt the worst. “My father did not die!”

“Yes, yes: he disappeared.” Gerta waved her hands dismissively. “Same difference. Good as dead out there, like the rest of them, once they go missing in the trees. But all your hoping isn't going to make him come back. How long has he been gone? Four years now? No, five. Too long that I've had to deal with your tricks. You're nearing marriage age, if you ask me.”

Now this was a first. Kate's eyes widened. “You wouldn't!”

Gerta looked at her for a long moment, her small piggy eyes lingering on the left side of Kate's face. “No, no, wouldn't do, would it? Even if I offered iron as a dowry, I couldn't get you off my hands.”

And that's it! Be sure to go look at Robin's entry, and check out the other contestants listed on Brenda's page. I'd love some critiques, questions, or comments on my entry along with your guesses! This is a first draft, after all. :)

I'm Not Looking For An Agent Anymore!

2011-12-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't find an agent. Did I getcha? But after reading this blog post, this guy's posts regarding agents, and this kitty's blog (my kitty should totally get a blog too), I think I'm going to shelf my agent list (at least for now) and concentrate on compiling my list of small press and indie publishers who accept un-agented submissions.

I've been querying agents on and off for over 2 years. The "off" periods included pulling my MS for revisions, and just getting tired of the rejections and needing a few weeks to lick my wounds and cry into my pillow.

During this time, I've amassed 70 rejection letters. A small amount to many authors who've had over 100, but I think this is a respectable number. I can brag about it! Out of this entire mess, I've had one request for a partial, one request for a full (from a New York agency! That was cool, and it was a very close one, she loved it but not quite enough), and only a handful of very kind personal rejections. The rest, of course, were form letters. Not that I have a problem with form letters - at least they're better than the "no response means we don't want ya" kind.

The rejection that hurt the most? The one that began, "Wow, Kristin!" My immediate thought was, "I have an agent!" But continuing to read, I realized she said wow because my query had gone to her spam folder, she'd just found it, and was feeling bad it had taken her so long to reject me. Ouch.

I'm so done. I'm sure I'll get rejections from publishers as well, but at least I'm cutting out the middle man. I don't really think The Moongate is a "Big 6" kind of book anyway, but I can definitely see it getting some love with a great indie press.

Hey, if my favorite bands are indie, why wouldn't it be good enough for me?

One day I might dust off that agent list and start again, but after 2+ years I think it's time to try a different approach. What do you guys think? Any advice for an indie author? How to market, how to find publishers to submit to, anything else I need to know?

Oh, and I still have my list of agencies who accept YA (info in the tab at the top of my blog) for those who are interested. I know that having an agent is still the right choice for many authors, and in the future, it might be for me. Who knows?

A Beautiful Angel

2011-12-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we lost a beloved family member, someone I've been so blessed to get to know better during the past years through Facebook and emails. I'm copying an email I sent to my writers' group friends from ANWA, because my emotions were freshest then.

"I'm hoping it was peaceful and that she didn't feel pain or discomfort during her last hours. She defied her doctors' predictions and lived over a month past the time they'd given her. She lived to celebrate one last Thanksgiving, a holiday that was always very special to our extended family. Until my grandpa passed away, we used to have reunions with dozens of the Baker and Clark clan attending, and we have so many precious memories from Thanksgivings past.

"I'm crying because I'll miss my sweet cousin and her amazing strength and inspiration so much. But I imagine her running now, free from pain, the wheelchair, the trach that took her voice, and with the beautiful thick blonde Rapunzel braids she had as a child. Standing taller now than the 3' 2" Morquio syndrome had limited her to, with bones that are strong and not deformed from her condition. I hope she's having a wonderful reunion with my grandpa, grandma, my dad, and other members of our family who have gone on before us.

"We're still here, continuing with the same old struggles and challenges of daily life. But her trial is over, and I can't even imagine the great joy she must feel to finally be free."

Not only did Danette live in almost constant pain, but she had to deal with repeated surgeries, setbacks, and the permanent loss of her voice from anesthesia complications over a decade ago. She never complained about anything. She was always upbeat and funny when we kidded around on Facebook. She was a mentor to so many families with Morquio and other dwarfism conditions, she built up peoples' faith, and was an active participant in programs that donated wheelchairs and other items needed for people with disabilities.

I knew she loved scrapbooking, but only after her passing did I find out that she ate two Oreos a day (three if her nurses spoiled her), and 7 peanut M&Ms before bed--a sweet little slice of life I wish I'd known before.

I learned so much from her about not only accepting the challenges you've been given in life, but embracing them and making the best out of what you have. About turning your setbacks into blessings. So many people complain about problems that are trivial, even superficial, in comparison. Any time I feel like griping about some minor catastrophe or inconvenience, I think about Danette and wonder if my little problem is even worth complaining about.

I credit her for showing me how to be a better person. Something she once said on Facebook: "Pain is inevitable but misery is optional."

I know you're so happy where you are now, Danette, and I'm filled with joy that your trials are over. But you'll always be so, so missed.

It's Epic Pain Time

2011-11-30T19:53:00.000-08:00

Hours of fun or evil in a little plastic cube? You decide.

For Brian's birthday, I got him a small Lego Pirates of the Caribbean set. I used to frickin' love Legos as a kid. Still do, actually. Every Christmas I tell the kids I want to give them a Lego Christmas, but there are two reasons we haven't done this yet.

Reason #1: Is there gold or something mixed up in the plastic? Seriously, you'd need to take out a second mortgage to have a real Lego Christmas. When Borders was having its big closeout sale, I went there and was geeking out over this huge Lego POTC Black Pearl set, until I saw the price tag: $150. And that was the sale price!

Reason #2: Have you ever stepped on one of those things? Ever since we spent an epic Thanksgiving at my aunt's house in a spare bedroom with nothing but a radio and a giant Rubbermaid container full of Legos, it's been my dream to provide the same kind of fun and hours of enjoyment for my kids. But we were unnaturally good kids. We made sure to pick up every last piece. Knowing mine, they'd leave little land mines of Lego pieces out for my accident-prone bare feet to find. Heck, they'd build Lego land mines and set them out!

One of the only things that can compare to the pain of stepping on a Lego is this little beast:

For those lucky few whose soles have never been punctured by the above specimen, we call them goat heads. Evil. Evil in plant form. If they can pop a hole in a bike tire, imagine what stepping on one with your bare foot feels like!

But Brian had so much fun with his tiny little Pirates Lego set that, once again, I made the promise of a Lego Christmas. Visions of brightly colored building blocks and the awesome things you can create with them started dancing in my head. However, said promise depends upon whether Dennis gets a bonus next month or not. If he doesn't, it will be what we call a "true spirit of Christmas" Christmas. Meaning, don't ask Santa for anything. Anyway...

Even Lego Jack Sparrow is dashing! I'm going to steal him from Brian...

So a few years ago I was just wandering around the house doing some nonsense or other in my bare feet, which I've finally learned is a bad, bad thing, when I scuffed my foot rather hard on the carpet and immediately had that oh crap something isn't right I just stepped on something bad but am too afraid to look feeling. My first thought was, "I stepped on a Lego. Not just that, but it's a broken Lego with a jagged edge and part of it has gone into my foot." I reached down, intending to brush the offending Lego off the ball of my foot.

It didn't budge.

Did you know that people have panic buttons? Well, I do at least. And my panic button was pushed, big time. I hobbled into the bedroom shrieking something like, "Help, oh help Dennis, I stepped on something and I don't think it's a Lego because I can't get it out of my foot, what is it, I think it's a toy, or maybe a piece of glass, I'm going to kill the kids, get it out!!!"

The hubby gave me an amused look and brought my foot closer for inspection. Then he said, "Um."

Um, what??

"It's not a Lego." He gave the embedded object a tiny, experimental twitch. It still wouldn't budge, but I felt that, I tell you. "It's something metal, and it's really in there."

Someone was repeatedly pounding on my panic button. I don't remember much of what I started screaming after that, but it attracted all the kids, who had been in bed, and the next thing I knew I felt this kind of sliding feeling deep inside the ball of my foot, and Dennis went "Whoa. Honey..."

He held out the thing that felt like a Lego, and I freaked the freak out. It was one of these, and the blood shining all along the shaft indicated it had gone into my foot an entire inch:

Not your average pin, but a gol durn friggin tree-branch-thick and sharper-than-needle-sharp sewing machine needle!

When Lia dropped a sewing machine needle in the hall last week and couldn't find it, I went in there and searched until I located it, because it would be MY foot that would eventually find it, and I wasn't doing that shiz again.

So, this Christmas, I want to throw away large amounts of money on hundreds of little plastic toys that feel like sewing machine needles or goat heads when you step on them. For extra fun, I think we should mix in needles and goat heads, scatter them on the floor, then have a barefoot dance party. Because yes, my friends, I really am that crazy.

What Happens When I Leave My Laptop Open

2011-11-23T02:34:00.000-08:00

Actual picture of Lia

Oh man. Lia used to do this all the time. I'd be writing and leave my computer for a minute, then come back to find that she'd totally trolled my WIP and it had taken a turn for the really weird. (This is why I had to be very thorough doing my edits, in case some of her little embellishments slipped through the cracks!)

So tonight I was just minding my own business, throwing some clothes into the washer after finishing a scene, and when I returned to the living room, the evil teen was sitting there cackling madly and wouldn't let me have my laptop back. I had to wait until she'd finished her additions - knowing it was going to be good.

She didn't disappoint. I'd laughed myself to tears by the end of the scene.

So the first sentence is my own, and the rest is Lia's handiwork. By the way, if she actually decided to be a writer, I'm sure she'd get published before me!

While Milek was distracted, Ania clicked open his traveling case and stuffed the frilly bloomers inside, stifling a laugh.

*

The next morning, Ania and Kate awoke to the sound of enraged screaming. Milek ran into their room holding the bloomers in one hand, and Ruby in the other. Shaking both fists, he shouted, “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY??? Is this your idea of a GOOD TIME?!”

“What the crap?? We only stuck the underwear in your suitcase! We didn’t do anything to Ruby!”

Milek stopped shouting for a moment, apparently surprised to see he was holding a squished-up Ruby. “No! Not Ruby! These bloomers! Do you have any idea what this has done to my reputation with the whores on this ship?? They think I’ve been seeing other hookers! Now what am I going to do?? Those were some first class naughty ladies!”

“Slut,” replied Ania shortly. And then she and Kate promptly left Milek in their cabin and went off to eat some food or slay a flying squid or something.

Monday Funny Pictures - Again!

2011-11-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't done this in a while! But I've been collecting lots and lots of funny pictures, my pretties. (If they're too small, click on them to see them better.)

You know it.

Well, my cat does. He also walks on my face and curls up on my head.
I actually can't sleep well if I'm not sharing my pillow with my kitty!

Oh my gosh, you guys. This next one isn't funny so much as it's awesome. Yours truly is a huge Tim Burton fan. Disney princesses with a Corpse Bride-esque makeover = lovelovelovelove!

Get it? Please tell me you get it!

Oh my gosh, who is this Gabe Perez kid? He's my hero!

This next one was titled "If Horses Could Talk." And I just...I don't even know what is going on here, but it made me cry tears of laughter when I saw it.

This one killed me. Killed. Me. I died from the laughing.

What's a bunch of funny pictures without the Harry Potter ones?

And finally...

There's this whacked-out game called The Neverhood that I played for a little bit before it started overheating my computer. The whole thing was done with clay. And it's freaking nuts. Who are those programmers? I must adopt them into my family.

Play the next video in front of any 6-to-18 year old boy and dare him not to laugh. Do it.

So, all silliness aside now, we had a bit of a situation in Reno over the weekend. See my post over at ANWA's blog for the details. Aaaand, not much else going on around here. Anything new with you guys?

The Good, the Bad, the Funny, and the Freakout

2011-11-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

I'm such a blogging loser lately! Not only have I not been blogging as regularly as before, but I haven't been spreading the comment love amongst my blogging friends as I should either. I do apologize, and I'm going to try to remedy that situation soon!

The good & bad: The good news is, from restricting my online time, my shoulders have been feeling much better. They don't hate me anymore, although they still dislike me a lot. More good news: I've given up rejection candy. Bad news: If I were still eating rejection candy like in the past, I'd have gained 20 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Good news: I'm taking a break from querying during the holiday season, which gives me more time for Cobalt.

The funny: So last night I went to the store to get some cookies for Brian's scout meeting, and the Harry Potter kiosk grabbed me on the way out. It did an Accio spell on me or something. I debated in front of that kiosk for like 5 minutes (because we're still stuck in that "we can barely even afford the stuff we need let alone the stuff we want" thing). I finally decided the final movie was a definite need. So I grabbed it and ran out of the store laughing my head off. (I paid for it first!)

When I got home, I called Lia to tell her to send Brian out for scouts, and told her to come out too. I gave her the movie, and she ran back inside screaming. While Brian got in the car, I could still hear her screaming in the house. When I got home 2 hours later, she was still screaming. Okay, she wasn't, but only because it was in the middle of Snape's memory scene...

The freakout: After we finished Deathly Hallows, we used to say, "Well, at least we still have the movies to look forward to." Then just before the last movie, all of us had mini breakdowns and lamented, "What is there to live for now??" Well, just a few days ago, Lia posted the answer on my Facebook wall:

My life has meaning once again. It's not Harry Potter, but it's a dang good story, and it looks like the movie is going to be great!

Then we watched the following video, which I think is the best fan-made trailer I've ever seen. (Apparently it was made in the hopes of getting the young actors a chance to audition.) Brilliant acting, I thought, even though I couldn't see the little girl as Rue. Big spoiler warning here, if you haven't read the books. And I totally needed a Kleenex. I know I'm going to need some for the actual movie!

So does anyone know if they're doing movies for Catching Fire and Mockingjay too?

What about you guys? Any books, movies, or just general life stuff you're really looking forward to?

How To Give This Momma a Heart Attack. Also, Some Music and Stuffs

2011-11-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

I want to blog, dang it! In Cobalt, I've just introduced a character who would look like a teenage version of this guy (what choo think about that eye candy, Abby? Even if I'm not really into Matthew Bellamy anymore, I did plan my character around him). Although the action is ramping up and it's getting really fun, I'm floundering with the introductory dialogue. It's going a little something like this:

Ania: "What in the hayell...where'd you come from, old acquaintance/romantic interest?"
Milek: "Hey babe. Knew I'd run into ya here one day or another." *wink wink* "You gonna introduce me to your hot friend?"
Kate: *blush fumble snort*
Ania: "OMG GTFO. BTW, her dad was famous but now he's dead and stuff."
Milek: "Nice scar. What's a cute, rich little heiress doing out here all on her own? I should tell your mommy!"
Ania: "I will poke you with all my stabby pointy weapons!"

Okay, not really. But it feels like this conversation is that awkward. I need to plan out my dialogue instead of just jumping into it!

Anyway, moving right along. Can you imagine how much it would scare you, as a mom (if you're a guy, just pretend you're a mom for a minute) and you got this text from your 18-year-old daughter on the first day of her new job: "I almost killed myself! I tripped over my boots and almost fell off a castle onto the ice! It was like 20 feet high! Oh, and one of my co-workers asked me to marry him when I was eating your chicken soup during lunch."

Yes, friends, that lucky child's very first job ever is her dream job, a stagehand doing backstage stuff at local events. Last weekend she worked for Disney On Ice. My friend got the following picture of the set. The middle part, between the staircases, was the section that nearly ended her life!

She still has bruises and cuts from falling on the ice while pushing set pieces around and squishing her fingers in equipment. She got to help the skaters with their props and costumes (and sent me several interesting texts on the colorful vocabulary of the princesses and the amazing abs of the princes), and she had Disney songs stuck in her head for days afterward. Next weekend, she gets to work backstage for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra! Momma is a little bit jealous. ;D I'm not too worried she'll be falling off any more castles, though.

Well, I haven't done any Music Friday posts in a while. That's partly due to my shoulders causing me so many problems, and partly because I'm planning to work with an awesome friend of mine on a different project involving steampunk music. (It's kind of up in the air for now, because both of us have been crazy busy lately.) I still have lots of music ideas for this blog, especially involving writing. They might be a little sporadic, though. But since I'm working on a steampunk book, I thought I'd share something that gave me my very first taste of steampunk.

Some of you might have heard of (or played) the PC game Myst. What a gorgeous game! I loved the whole concept of it from the very beginning, before I even knew what steampunk was. I won't go into too much detail in this post, since I'm planning on making another Myst-related post soon, and I'm rambling on too long anyway. But I'd love to share a clip or two of the game's soundtrack, which is, to me, very inspiring while writing in the steampunk genre.

Since you've all been kind enough to stick with my nonsensical post so far, I'd like to share part of the dialogue in Cobalt that's giving me grief. I feel a little stuck on where to go with it next, but I'm going to brainstorm.

Not quite knowing what to do, Kate wrapped both hands around her mug and took a huge drink of the lukewarm, bitter water.

Milek laughed. “Charmed, indeed.”

“This is Kate.” Ania’s eyes flashed in Milek’s direction. “Katerina Lebel. I’m guarding her during her stay in the city.”

Milek’s eyes widened and he took a second, longer look at Kate. “Well, such a name would surely afford you girls better accommodations than this.”

Kate lowered her mug and returned Milek’s gaze. “I didn’t realize my name was this well-known so far south.”

Milek smiled. “Oh, anyone who’s spent time on a ship knows the name Lebel. But Ania here can’t be your only escort? Not that she isn’t more than an adequate guard, but I’d think such a young heiress wouldn’t be out on her own.” The boy’s eyes traveled over Kate, taking extra time, she was sure, on her scar, dirty hair, and ragged clothing.

“That’s none of your concern,” Ania snapped.

“You sure nobody’s missing you at home?” Milek asked Kate, ignoring Ania. “Worrying about where you’ve gone off to? It’s not a kind world for a little girl on her own. Especially a rich little girl.”

Well, then. Now I'm going to push some wrestling kids off the bed before they kick my laptop. Then I'm going to try to write some more. Oh! And I almost forgot. I have a new page tab, up at the top of my blog, about YA agents and whatnot. Check it out if you plan on querying at any time in your life. It may not save the world, but it might just save you a buttload of time.

And Then I Will Find Some Food and Write Some More...

2011-11-11T16:16:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I've started feeling like this again whenever I get a rejection:

My latest rejection last week was particularly hard. I know I'd said I wasn't going to let them get me down anymore, and that I'm perfectly okay with a small print publisher or self-publishing. And I still am. I think what's more upsetting to me is no longer "Am I not good enough?" but "What do I do now?" After I've gone through my entire list of agents to query, how do I put a quality book out myself? A gorgeous cover, effective marketing, and all that. I guess, once again, I'm getting ahead of myself. There are still 100 or so agents I haven't bothered yet.

So now I'm almost back to being in this frame of mind:

So there! ;D

Now, guess what? I'm writing again, because my shoulders are feeling a lot better. Not 100% better, but I'm being careful with my online time and how I'm sitting while using the laptop. So I'm on a roll again with Cobalt. Whee...

Also, I got a couple of awards! Thank you to Jennifer and Donna for the Versatile Blogger Award and the Lovely Blog Award, respectively. I'm supposed to share a few facts about myself, but as I have some pretty bad allergies today and can't think of any new facts, I'm going to post a link to one of my older posts with some interesting me trivia. There will be a test later.

One more thing before I go find something to cram into my face. (It's 4:08 and I haven't eaten yet today!) I added page tabs to my blog, with my book/WIP info in one of them. Before that, I'd had all my projects listed under the "about me" in the right sidebar. I'm not sure which I like better. Opinions?

My NaNoWriFail

2011-11-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well guys, I was all pumped for NaNoWriMo this year, but sadly I'm going to have to cut my word count goal from 2000 to 500. My shoulders have been annoying little buggers lately. They don't want me to lift anything, exercise, sleep in any position, let a kid lean against me, or - worst of all - write. I got pinched nerves or something in my shoulders near the end of my 5-year stint waitressing at Denny's (I was a kick-a waitress too! Our Denny's is on the route to Burning Man, and it was so much fun - although exhausting - serving the burners! I miss it sometimes).

Obviously I can't give up writing, or any of those other activities, so I need to pace myself. Less online time (boo) to let my shoulders heal, and a saner daily word goal so I don't get overwhelmed and beat myself up.

There's a great alternative for authors who want to set some serious writing goals without the hard-to-meet objective of 50,000 words in a month. The writer's group I belong to, ANWA, puts on writing challenges 4 times a year through the Yahoo group ANWAWrite. Anyone can join, you don't have to be LDS or a woman. One of the challenges is called BIAM (Book In A Month) and coincides with NaNo. Many participants do both in November. The group's moderators send out regular emails with inspirational quotes, and cheer everyone on when they turn in their daily word counts. What I love most about the challenges is that you pick your own word count goal. The first time I did BIAM, I learned so much about managing my time and getting my 500 words in without editing while I was writing.

The good news is that I have almost 3000 new words on Cobalt! I'm excited with the direction the story is taking, and pretty soon there's going to be some real monster & pirate action. (That is, if you don't consider jumping out of a moving airship into a forest full of mutant creatures and moving, bloodthirsty trees real action, which recently happened. That was a fun scene to write!)

Well, I must wrap this post up. My hungry stomach calleth me to the fridge for some leftover Marriage Proposal Chicken Soup. (I call it that because my daughter Lia took some to her first day at work yesterday and her co-worker, seeing and smelling the home-cooked deliciousness, proposed to her on the spot. Why don't I ever get marriage proposals for my cooking??)

Oh, and speaking about good recipes, I just remembered this one. It's freaking amazing, super easy to make, and probably adding inches to my waist since we have a mug of it every night before bed! (Click to see it full-size.)

It's Not a Garter, It's a Wristband!

2011-10-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

I like to make stuff when I'm not writing. Like I have all the time in the world! Or I only need to sleep two hours a night. Yeah, I wish!

I wanted to take home ec in middle school. (Back in the days when they still had home ec!) The classes were all full, so somehow I found myself the only girl in woodworking. The teacher joked with all the guys about how long I'd last until I transferred to another class, but I stuck with it and ended up getting the highest grade. In your face, boys!

So I got to make all kinds of really cool stuff out of wood, but it didn't help much when I had kids and wanted to make the kinds of dresses and Halloween costumes my mom used to make for us...

I still learned how to sew passably well, thanks to my mom and Simplicity patterns. I have lots of ideas yet to try, but for now I've been messing around with making jewelry.

So here are a few things I made the other day! Look at 'em, look!

Anya had a scrap piece of striped ribbon that I thought was pretty cool, so I swiped it when she wasn't looking. The pendant was from a necklace that one of the girls broke, and I had the lace lying around. So I made a pretty wrist cuff!

I had another broken pendant, so I popped the cameo out of it and glued it to a new pendant to cover up a design I just didn't like very much.

Two broken things (obviously, I save all the pretty things my kids break) glued together to make a new brooch!

Sorry about the terrible picture quality. I took these with my cell phone. More to come if I'm motivated enough to keep creating!

Today I'm Rambling on About NaNoWriMo...and My Bra

2011-10-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Do any of you guys have a draft post saved for your blogging ideas? I have to write down everything that comes to mind on what to blog about, because I'm afraid of someday running out of ideas. I was going through that list just now when I saw the following: "Need a GPS tracker for my bra." Well...I don't even remember writing that. I guess I was planning on blogging about it, but that's pretty weird. I bet I came up with the idea during the week I was chugging Nyquil...

I taunt you with my ability to get lost
in the most random places.

Even if it is true. I'm always losing my bras! I would throw large amounts of money at any store that stocked bras with not only great support but little trackers sewn into the cups, and a remote locator for your keychain. Except I also need a tracker for my keychain.

I promise I'm not on Nyquil right now!

What does that even have to do with writing? This kind of crazy rambling makes me worry about something else I have in that little draft list of mine: acting like a writer.

(Yeah, I get to strike two topics out of my list!)

My biggest challenge is treating this as a profession and not a hobby. Yesterday I was filling out paperwork for an optometrist appointment and they asked for my hobbies. (My new eye doctor wants to know my hobbies? Cool!) I put down writing and reading. Then I thought, wait a second. My hobbies are sewing, freaking out over steampunk stuff, and making jewelry (speaking of, I made an awesome bracelet yesterday, I think I'll post a pic of it soon).

Writing is not a hobby. I want people to throw money at me for my books someday! That's called a profession. I can go weeks without working on my hobbies and not feel guilty about it. If I go longer than a few days without writing new words or at least doing something with my WIP, I feel like I'm cheating myself out of something awesome. We writers fall into the small category of lucky people who get paid for doing something we love (or we have the goal of eventually getting paid).

So I don't always approach writing like it's a job. I don't act like a writer. I realized this just in time for NaNoWriMo. I've never participated in the past, because I tell myself I don't have the discipline to write 2000 words a day.

Bull-honky. When I'm really on a roll, I can crank out 2000 words in under an hour. Usually 500 words takes me about an hour, but even then, that means I can do 2000 words if I get strict with my writing schedule and eliminate distractions. (Goodbye, Facebook! *cry*)

I guess I'm saying I'll commit to doing NaNoWriMo this year. Eep! But it's exciting, because I've been wanting to get the first draft of Cobalt done so I can outline a dark and spooky YA fantasy that's been bouncing around in my brain the last couple of weeks.

With NaNo, I'm committing to not only making a huge dent in my WIP, but learning more about treating this as a job, acting like a writer and not a dabbler. I have a feeling that not only will the next month be exhausting and crazy-making, but I'll come out of it with some new tools and talents, and a lot more discipline.

What about you guys? Who's doing NaNo this year too? Who's done it before? Any tips or advice?

And...has anyone seen my black bra? It's been missing for days.

Monday AWESOME! Halloween Light Show and an Award

2011-10-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh. This is my favorite family ever. I'm going to find out who these people are and move in next to them! It must have taken them all freaking year to choreograph this! Halloween is my very favorite holiday (I do love Christmas, but thanks to the shopping stress and stores putting up decorations in September, by December I'm all Christmas-ed out). And--Danny Elfman for the win! Love his music, so much that I have a lot of his work in my writing playlist.

Speaking of cool Halloween people, there's this awesome family near our neighborhood who goes ALL OUT every year with decorations and costumes that could probably finance a down payment on another house. I'll try to get some pictures and video this Halloween, except that's hard to do because 1. my camera's flash ruins the spooky effect by making it look like daylight and 2. the zombies and horror movie slashers always chase me down the street.

Here's a question: Do you consider The Nightmare Before Christmas to be a Halloween or Christmas movie? (My vote's for Halloween.) I'd put up a poll like my very cool friend Abby does, but I'm late in posting already and I'd still have to read her tutorial on it.

Now for my blog award! Cherie gave me the 7 X 7 award, a fun one I haven't received before. I'm going to follow all the people she named in her recent award, but I have yet to name the people I want to pass it on to. I will soon, to try to get these people more followers! I admit I'm pretty awful at passing awards on. I've also been really bad lately at keeping up with the blogs I follow and spreading comment love. I do read all your posts, but I'm still trying to come up with a good schedule that lets me keep up with blogging, personal time-draining hobbies, and the all-important writing. (For more on that, see my dorky post on ANWA's blog about those guilty pleasures that suck your time away.)

Okay, and now it's down to the fun part of this award! I love this because I get to look through my old blog posts, and some of them were before I had any followers. So this might be the first time other eyes have seen them! I might get comments! WHEE...

1. Most Beautiful Post: The one where I was freaking out about which cover artist I wanted if I self-published. I'd still want her!

2. Most Popular Post: This one here, suckas! A whopping 19 comments, because my blog isn't yet like some of you who get 30+ comments on all your posts!

3. Most Controversial Post: I'm not really a controversial or confrontational person, so I didn't think I had anything to fit this category, until I remembered this post. There's a member in our family who thinks getting published is a stupid, unattainable dream, and puts me down to my kids. It's been very hurtful. I try to let such things roll off my back, but I had to rant about it first to get it out of my system.

4. Most Helpful Post: This one on my list of agencies who accept YA queries. I have the link in my sidebar too. It took a LONG time to compile and keep this list updated, and I'm more than happy to share it with other YA authors.

5. Most Surprisingly Successful: I didn't really know where I was going with this post, so I was surprised when it got a lot of responses, and even a few RT's on Twitter! I think I'm going to make a similar one soon with more pictures of faerie stuff that inspired me.

6. Post That Didn't Get the Attention It Deserved or Most Underrated: I kinda loved this one but it got no comments! *sadface* Or this one, because it was fun!

7. The Post I Am Most Proud Of: Another tie! I still like to re-read my post on how bad I am at writing romance. And I really am quite proud of my Depeche Mode song parody. :)

Okay, whew! It was pretty exhausting going through all my old blog posts! Good thing I'm not a really prolific blogger or this would've been a killer.

More coming up this week about NaNoWriMo, maybe a writing snippet, and there's also a really cool reason I haven't done music posts lately but I'm going to start them up again!

Derpy Mistakes and Horrible Sisters

2011-10-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

It's almost 2 am and I should be going to bed right now, but instead I'm having a freakout. A freakout of the bad, but hopefully quite unnecessary, kind. I just submitted a query to an agent I've really been looking forward to querying for a long time. My hotmail was being stupid and saying the server was too busy. So I saved the draft and tried again a few minutes later. Every time, the font would screw up (I have it set to TNR 12 pt but it kept switching to some random font in super tiny). It's like my stupid hotmail is trying to sabotage me! So I was freaking out already about getting the font right, and hoping nothing else got messed up either. After a few tries, the message finally sent.

I should have just quit for the night and tried again tomorrow. I checked the Sent Messages folder, and found out that it got sent twice! Ugh, now I look not only really desperate but really amateur. At least in my eyes I do. I'm sure we've all had some really derpy moments with some of the agents we've submitted to. But I was really, really hoping for perfection with this one! This is a good case for switching to Gmail...

So then Monday was also really lame and I didn't post funnies. I have a few funny pics and videos to try to make up for it. :)

I made a pet hamster out of our cat Crybaby's fur! A hamster the other cats won't try to hunt and kill! Then I stuck it on a dresser to see how long it would take the kids to notice. It took about 2 weeks before someone said, "What the heck is this?!"

We call this Emily's troll face.

My new garbage can came with a stowaway!

We had to get out and take this picture as soon as we saw the sign! We got a lot of weird looks too, which I found baffling. I mean, look at the sign, people! It's kind of obvious what we were up to...

Lia didn't think she looked very much like Professor Trelawney until I made this comparison picture. The pic even shows up when you google Lia's name!

And...well, I took this video the other day. Proof that we're not winning any Family of the Year awards anytime soon...

BTW, you all need to know that scene was totally staged. They'd just done some wrestling and dance moves, Lia owned Emily in the middle of the song, and then Emily wanted to recreate that charming moment on video. Sisters...

So now that I've calmed down a little bit and I think I'm finally ready for bed, anyone else have any query letter horror stories to share? Anything really dumb, silly, or funny you did in your quest for publication? (Reassurances that I haven't just totally blown my chances for this particular agent would be great too...)

Deadlines Are Great! So Are Parties!

2011-10-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

You know that little rewriting deadline I set for myself a couple weeks ago? The one in which I promised myself some tights and sushi if I completed it? Well...I did! Right on time too.

I think I get bonus points for finishing this rewrite in a tornado of insanity. My 13-year-old and 11-year-old had their annual Halloween party last night. The one that they plan and send out invites for before getting permission! It always ends up being a total blast, but exhausting. A record number showed up last night: at least 30 6th- to 8th-grade kids, and about 15 stayed for the sleepover. (Next year the sleepover part will be omitted or I'll lose the rest of my sanity!)

These girls really know how to throw a party. I was impressed with the treats they made, and the decorations they came up with on a tight budget. (Didn't get pictures of the porch outside yet, will when it's a little darker and gloomier.)

This doesn't even show...kids were everywhere! Everywhere!

Werewolf cupcakes

This cake was probably the best cake I've ever had!
It was seriously amazing. Emily's my cake baker from now on.

They made these string cheese zombie fingers.
I didn't get a picture of ours before they all got eaten.

So anyway, last night I sat on the couch in a living room full of screaming girls and crazy dance party music, somehow tuned out all the noise, and fixed all those pesky red notes. Then I deleted them while laughing like a villain! After that, I played Apples to Apples with the girls.

Daisy the bunny got some major spoiling!

Brian's crashed on the couch. LOL

So, what now? I'm going to scrounge up the money for some crazy tights and all-you-can-eat sushi at my favorite place, Sushi Time, send out some more query letters, get back to work on Cobalt, and then party like this dude:

Except not today, my lower back is really out...

Monday Funnies: More Pirates!

2011-10-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

Monday Funnies are late today because I have one mofo of a cold that's messed up my body and brain. Whaaaa, I just want to feel normal again and not suffer from all these whacked-out Nyquil dreams! Although the other night I did have a dream which spawned an awesome MG/YA creepy dark plot of amazingness! (That wasn't the other dream I had in which Jolene built a couple of houses out of hatboxes and frosting, and wouldn't let me move into one. She so mean!)

So anyway. What's cooler than a writer obsessed with pirates? An artist obsessed with pirates! Especially when she's funnier than crap. And crap can get pretty funny, believe me.

Lia started following this crazy lady - Warrioronlydude on Deviantart - a few years ago. (Clicky to her page on the left.) She kept calling me in to see these hilarious POTC comics and pictures. Warning: You might not want to be drinking anything, or at least keep some Windex and a towel near your monitor! (Click on the pics to see them bigger.)

I posted the next one a while ago, before I had any followers! :D It's one of my favorites, about what Calypso actually says in that strange language after she grows to giant size:

She has an absolutely hilarious way of depicting Davy Jones in many of her drawings. And a cool comic series about our favorite tentacle-bearded villain, called "Davy Jones' Day Off," in her gallery if you wanted to go check it out... (And a newer strip called "A Pirate's Life For Me.")

This one killed me. Baby Kraken is cute!

Having driven to Utah many times myself, I thought the same thing when I first saw this scene!
Title: Where Davy Jones' Locker Is

She has a serious side too, and the following picture really shows her talent. She even makes awesome crafts. OMSquee talent overload!

And she's not all POTC either. The Last Airbender, yay! She has more awesome comics from many inspired sources in her gallery. I just chose mainly the pirates ones, because PIRATES!!

Double funny today! Warrioronlydude is LDS like me, so I'm posting a bunch of her Mormon funnies on ANWA's blog. If you're not LDS, you may not get all the jokes, but you'll get at least a few if you've ever met the missionaries. :D

And now I'm going to go chug some cold medicine and squoosh my cat. Non-germy air hugs!

On Freakouts and Cold Medicine

2011-10-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about something writerly today, but since the cold medicine I'm on is ruining my thinking and I'm sure nothing I say will make much sense, I'm going to still try to be writerly but have fun too. We'll have some fun!

A few of my friends lately have finished first drafts, and one or two more have just released books. Shout out to Jolene and Cherie! Cherie yelled on Twitter. Having recently completed the first draft of my second book, I still remember that excitement. I yelled and ran around and then called someone and yelled at them while running around, either my mom or the hubby.

You would think I'd have learned by now not to run around when I get really excited. I usually injure something. When I won Depeche Mode concert tickets, I almost crashed the car (this was before they made the law in Nevada about cell phones and driving). When I got my first request for a full, I ran outside and threw around all the kids who were on the front lawn (this included neighbor kids), screamed and scared the neighbors, then ran back inside, broke a toe, and freaked out the dog so she started chewing on my foot. I still have a faint scar...

Yeeeah. Oh, but I was quite reserved when I finished the first draft for The Moongate, because I was at Denny's, and since I worked there at the time it would not have been good to run around the restaurant screaming. Instead, I jumped up and hugged my co-worker Marco, while giggling because he's gorgeous and a great hugger.

Marco!

Oh my gosh, funny story about Marco. I found out a couple weeks after the in-laws took all of us on a cruise that he now lives in Cabo and works in the tourist spot. We'd just been there. It would have been the funniest thing ever if I'd run into Marco while we were all walking around the shopping area. Because we had all the extended family, my father- and mother-in-law, two brothers-in-law, my one bil's wife and kids...suddenly I would have lost it and started screaming while mauling this supposedly random guy in the plaza, and my kids would have joined in too because they also knew Marco and loved him to death. Since my in-laws already think I'm nuts, it would have been freaking HILARIOUS.

Wow. Okay then. See what I mean about cold medicine?

Anyway, what do you do when you get really great, exciting news? Especially when it has something to do with writing? Are you a total spaz like me, or are you more reserved and mature? Does the whole world know about it from your screaming, or do you break the news in a more civilized manner, such as writing a professional post on Facebook and Twitter? All of the above? Jolene, when you got that call from your agent, did you scream and throw things after you hung up the phone?

I am planning my freakout to the last detail when I finally get my agent call. Or small press publisher, whatever I end up going with.

I'm going to finish with a clip and a warning. Lia and I have been watching this pretty entertaining cartoon. But don't ever watch it after you've taken Nyquil, because it will MESS YOUR BRAIN UP.

Monday Funny: More Facebook Statuses!

2011-10-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

Facebook's been showing status updates of the past, and Lia and I have had a lot of fun collecting the funniest. I learned a little something while going through these old statuses: My youngest, Anya, is crazy, and very quotable.

I also realized I seem to hear Lia talk in her sleep a lot, which I'm sure raises the of question of why I'm always around when she's sleeping. We have 6 kids in a 3-bedroom house. The boys have a room, the girls have another. Rather than share a room with 3 other very messy and much younger girls, Lia pulls a mattress into the living room every night. I sleep on the couch, because Dennis can wake the dead with his snoring. So it's like every night is a slumber party!

Mine:

Lia, talking in her sleep: "Hey! My seat won't stop clicking. It's just *random gibberish* clicking."
Me: *trying not to laugh* "What?"
Lia: *more gibberish* "It's my seat, it's right there!"
Me: *laughing*
Lia: "It's a moving...chair...light."
Me: *leaving the room to log onto Facebook, laughing*
Lia: "You laughing at my moving chair light? WHAT!"

Me: "Adrien Brody has these puppy eyes, it makes you want to just eat his face."
Lia: "Except you can't get to his face, his nose is in the way."

I temporarily forgot the name of Eva's friend...so I called her Belly Button.

Wish I had something cool to update, but I'm still waiting. Instead, I'll leave you with a quote from Anya: "My buttcrack tells me what to do." And yes, she did a tooty right after saying that!

Weird statement of the day: "Why are there flowers in my didgeridoo?"

Feel free to use the following real-life sentences in your everyday conversation: "Your bra just landed in my top ramen and splashed boiling broth all over me! Get your fingers out of my noodles, you can't have any because your bra ruined my soup!"

Raw, scratchy throat and a cat's butt in my face...not the best way to wake up in the morning. In other news, Lia punched herself in the face and gave herself two black eyes. Haw!

Anya: "Will you miss me when I go back home?"
My niece Rylee: "Squirrel. I mean, yes."

Eva: "I was playing a game with Emily and I went to slap her butt and accidentally slapped her face..."
Me: *wonders how on earth this feat was managed*

I was just laughing and suddenly got a mouthful of cat face. :/

Just sitting here on the couch, and I hear a scream from the other room: "DANG! There's a huge bug on my butt! You crawl on my butt and you die!"

To my dear kid: I like Spongebob as much as the next insane person, but please don't wake me up 20 minutes before my alarm goes off to tell me they're coming out with a new season. Especially since we don't even get Nick. Love, your exhausted mom!

Boys are gross. Both of them peeing in the toilet at the same time yelling "WOO!"

Lia had taken nighttime cold medicine and was already knocked out. She said as I was going to bed, "Tell me where I am in the morning, okay?" She sounded so wide awake I asked her loudly 3 times what she said, and she repeated it. Then I started laughing and she was like, "What?!" and then after a second she realized what she was saying and yelled, "Oh my gosh!"

I'm totally wiping a booger on the next person who says I look like Kristen Stewart.

Yet another memorable statement I never expected to hear in my life: "My stomach hurts because I ran into a cactus while I was chasing a chicken."

Laptops hurt worse than cats when they're falling on your head. Lucky me, it was both a laptop AND a cat.

Anya recently drew a picture and described it to me: "This is Mommy outside, and Daddy in the house, and me and the kitties, and on the other side is a zombie, but he's not going to eat anyone because the sun is up and he has to go into his box or he'll die." I'd like to know why I was outside with the zombie/vampire, and Dennis was hiding in the house!

I declare today to be Scream and Flail Your Arms Around While Being Chased by Yellowjackets day.

My calves are so sore I keep faceplanting into the furniture...

Don't ever pause David Tennant on your TV with Emily around, unless you want lipstick marks all over the screen.

Lia is talking in her sleep and just told me to vaminos.

Lia's:

Caffeine is not good for me to have, because I almost left the bathroom without any pants!

Elijah: "Is Lady Gaga married to Justin Bieber?" Intriguing idea, dear sir.

Emily: "Go get Apples to Apples and Mommy and I will play it with you!"
Me: "Do you realize that you just called me 'mommy?'"
Emily: "No, I said 'Mommy and I will PLAY it with you.' Besides, you look more like a grandma!"
Guess who's going to wake up tomorrow with no eyebrows.

Brian: *Stripping down to his underwear*
Dad: "What are you doing?"
Brian: "I'm vacuuming in my underwear, why?"
My dad's the only normal one in my family. He just doesn't understand that sometimes a boy has to vacuum in his underwear.

Weirdest quote of the day: "Help me! I'm stuck in Daniel Radcliffe's chest hair!!"

So I'm in the bathroom, drying my hair when there's a knock on the door.
Me: Yes?
Anya: Let me see your booty!!

Someone from the other room: "Ew! You burped in my peanut butter!"

Me: *Standing in the kitchen with a knife*
Anya: LIA!! They won't let me in my room! Go cut their butts off!

Anya: "What are you doing?"
Me: "What are YOU doing?"
Anya: "I'm staring at you... FRENCH staring at you."

Elijah: "Hey, Lia, guess what?"
Me: "What?"
Elijah: "Kung hei fat choi!"

Anya: *Licks my face*
Me: EW!! Don't do that!
Anya: But you were all up in my business!

Uh... My mom just pushed us all out of the way because she really had to pee, but instead of heading to the bathroom, she ran outside. O_o

Mom: "Don't touch the TV screen, Anya."
Anya: "Well, Elijah choked me to death!"
Mom: "Don't choke your sister to death, Elijah."

My cat is eating my pants.

"Emily, get my bed out of the bathroom!!" - Not a statement you hear in most houses.

What. My mom just told me that she saw Gumby and Pokey dancing in the street yesterday. WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS THESE THINGS??!

If my brothers keep peeing on the toilet seat, I swear, I will duct tape them to the side of my house and leave them there.

Anya, talking to my mom: "Hey! You're sitting on something I need! Get off it!"
Me: "Anya, how do you ask?"
Anya: "May you GET OFF IT!!"

Kissing in the rain is done too often. I'm going to go kick someone in the rain.

* * *

Oh, and hey, Adrien Brody rocks. The following video proves it:

On Fun Memes, Goals, and Rewards

2011-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot I was tagged in this super-fun meme from Jennifer! Since I'm it, I need to tag some others too, but I'll get them on my next post. There's a bazillion things going on in the background while I'm typing and I think someone's lighting matches too, and I'm starting to get a headache. ;D

So here it is (cue introductory fanfare) - the Random Answers to Life's Meaningful Questions quiz!

Show us the cutest, most adorable picture of your favorite animal:

OMSquee! Baby unicorn! This is literally the cutest freakin' unicorn I've ever seen. Yes, unicorns are my favorite animals, and anyone who says "but unicorns aren't REAL" gets a half-empty bottle of moldy applesauce thrown at them.

You have five seconds to survive the zombie apocalypse. Choose one friend who would save your butt and then tell us why you chose them.

My mom! She put up with NOTHING when we were kids, I'm sure she could make short work of zombies.

Share a quote with us:

Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love...Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Using exactly twenty seven words, tell your life story:

Lived in a haunted house once. Never really grew up. Been there, done that too many times. Now I write stuff and have a bunch of kids.
(Holy cow, I got 27 words on the first try without even counting!)

All dead rock legends live again. You’re standing in a fifty mile long line for:

I've already met my favorite band 3 times, so I'll have to say - Depeche Mode, my 2nd favorite band. But this time I'd be up near the stage, and not way in the back like the only other time I've seen them.

Describe yourself using six words that start with the third letter of your middle name:

Rad, Rotten, Ridiculous, Rare, Rascally, Rambunctious

What do you think of when you hear the word wombat?

SQUEE! I love wombats! Sooo freakin' cute.

I also think of this delightful book, which I read a few years ago. I'd love to get my hands on it again.

Now here's the part where I get all responsible and stuff (a phenomenon which happens only once or twice a year). I have a little bit of revising to do with The Moongate before I can query again. Technically I could be querying now, except the changes will probably cut a lot of words and I want an accurate word count for agents. I've also moved Shadow Mountain publishing to the top of my submission list. They want a hard copy, so that manuscript needs to have the heck polished out of it before I print it up and mail it out. I'm giving myself two weeks from today to get all this done. A deadline! *gasp*

And if I make this deadline, then I'm going to go donate a bunch of plasma or whatever to get some extra mula, and blow the money on this awesomeness as a reward:

Or this, or this. Or all three! And then I'll follow up my little shopping spree with some of this:

Yay for sushi, crazy tights, and being responsible!

Teeny job update: Dennis got head-hunted for a company in Kansas City, Missouri. I know next to nothing about it, except it gets humid in the summer (I'd die) and is very far away from my mom and the Sierra Nevadas. :( Still, I think we'll probably take it if it's offered. I'm done - so done! - with being poor! (Haha, funny I'm griping about being poor just after I get all excited about buying tights and sushi. Keep in mind that I haven't actually shopped for anything awesome in months. I'm like 50% fantasizing, and 50% planning on selling body parts for the money to have some fun. LOL)

Now let's close this crazy party with something completely random. It's my theme song, according to Lia:

Some Rambling On World-Building, and an Awesome Quote

2011-09-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

Fraggles and bow-ties are cool!

My friend Dave, puppet-maker and artist extraordinaire, just wrote the Awesome Sentence of the Week on Facebook: "I orbit around my desk like a fraggle-haired moon." Sorry Dave, I'm "totes" stealing your pic and quote to share on my blog, because it's just that awesome.

Voice: personality in writing that "shows" character much more than "telling." Dave's sentence was a great example of Voice.

Like Dave, I've been heavily influenced by the work of Brian Froud. I used to check out books of his artwork from the school library (back when I did more drawing than writing), and I was a huge Dark Crystal and Labyrinth geek. (Still am!) While planning The Moongate, I kept picturing Froud's faeries as characters, particularly the half-Fey and the wilder forest Fey. I imagined personality types and customs for each different Fey race, based on European myths and legends I've read about faeries. But, since I had to keep the word count down, and since world-building is maddeningly difficult, especially for a first book, I had to simplify things. My Fey people who feature as main characters have mostly human-like mannerisms and emotions. I hope this isn't a mistake. In later books, the half-Fey get to be more in the spotlight, and this is where I think I can develop my ideas of Froud-esque faeries.

Below, I'm posting some of Froud's artwork that inspired me:

I have a main character who's very tree-like and wilder than the other MC's. I'd imagine his race would look like the woman below.

Sadly, even some Fey suffer from seasonal allergies.

I can't wait to develop the half-Fey. So far they're only hinted at. I had fun writing a brief scene involving one in the 2nd book, and they really get the spotlight in the 3rd. The predominantly good Fey look upon their halfling counterparts (part demon, part Fey) with contempt. Their natures may lean toward the Dark, but are they really as evil as they're believed to be?

The Dark Fey are evil. Evil just for evil's sake though? That's how I'd planned it originally. Like I said, it was my first book! During the rewrites, I tried to give them a plausible reason for being villains, but they're bad mofo's anyway. Some of them might look like the freak below, but others, like one Nissa runs afoul of in the 2nd book, are quite human in appearance and might even be disturbingly handsome.

I'd post some more pictures, except the half-Fey got into Blogger and they keep screwing with the HTML. This post has taken me three times as long to edit as it usually does!

Actually, we have a dog who looks like this.

What about you guys? Any fantasy authors here who have some tips on how to world-build and stay functionally sane? What other artists or authors have inspired your characters?

Pumpkin Pasties

2011-09-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, it's my favorite season for baking, fireplaces, and PUMPKIN RECIPES! Although you wouldn't know it's fall, it's still in the high 80's today. Blargh...

I don't have the Harry Potter cookbook, (it's on my wish list) but I found this recipe online. I've been experimenting, so if I find one I like better I'll post it.

2 eggs, slightly beaten
3/4 cup sugar
1 1 lb. can pumpkin
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. cloves
1 2/3 cups evaporated milk (1 can)
Pie crust pastry, packaged or homemade (enough for four single standard pie crusts - yeah, this recipe makes a lot!)

Bake the pie filling only (no crust) in a large casserole dish at 425 for 15 minutes. Keep oven door closed and reduce temp to 350 degrees and continue baking for 45 minutes or until butter knife inserted in center of dish comes out clean. Cool on wire rack.

Roll pie crusts thin and cut into circles approx 4" in diameter (I use a bowl about this size to cut out the dough). Put a spoonful of the cool pumpkin mixture toward one side of the center of the circle. Fold over the crust into a half-circle and firmly crimp the edges closed. Slice three small slits in the top for venting, place on a cookie sheet lined with baking parchment, and bake only until crust is a light golden-brown.

I've experimented with different bowl sizes and even crimping the edges up to the top so they look like wontons. I didn't like the wonton shape at all, because they baked weird. I like using a bowl between 4 and 5 inches in diameter, because you can fit more pumpkin into them. I tried a smaller bowl last night and the pasties turned out really cute, but less pumpkin. I brushed some beaten egg over the crusts so they came out a shiny golden color.

This recipe makes about 3 dozen, depending on how much pumpkin you spoon into the crust, and the crust size you cut. I had about a cup of pumpkin left over, and enough crust left over for about 2 or 3 more pasties, but I'd already baked two sheets and was tired out!

Monday Funny: How 'Bout I Throw Some More Pictures At You??

2011-09-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

More funny picture battles! Lia's been launching them at my Facebook so frequently that I haven't been saving the newest ones, and something so one-sided can hardly be called a battle anymore. Still, I'm getting some funny stuff! I'll start saving my favorites again. The ones I'm posting here are oldies, they've been in my photo album on Facebook for a while. Click on the pics if they're too small to read.

The previous eye candy stands alone in an onslaught of Harry Potter funnies...

Truth.

This last one killed me!

And now...guess what, guess what? I didn't win the Can You Hook a Teen contest, but I did get an honorable mention! Hey, I'll take all the good news I can get. Now I'm off to make pumpkin pasties, a la Harry Potter! We made them over the weekend and they were AMAZING! They lasted all of 5 minutes out of the oven, and the kids have been begging for them again. Should I post the recipe?

Last Time--I Promise!

2011-09-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

This is the version I'm going to use for now, because it's 1:30 am and I'm freakin' exhausted, and the deadline for the hook contest is today. (If you've already figured out I'm annoying, be glad I'm not a family member!) I'll give it a week or so before I re-read, edit out mistakes, decide to re-write it entirely again, query it, or whatever.

However, I'm still iffy about the first two sentences as a hook. The first two paragraphs, even.

The 250 words for the contest are highlighted. :)

Maybe it was weird for a sixteen-year-old girl to still be afraid of the dark, but everyone has their phobias. Actually, I was fine with normal darkness--but when you mixed in wind and trees, I’d start to freak out. I blamed my grandma for that.

There was this ghost story she would tell my brother Drew and me when we were kids. Of course, a few years ago I’d stopped believing in ghosts. Or in the story that, to this day, she swore was true. But when the wind came howling up out of the trees, I found my skepticism wavering...

The door of the coffee shop rattled. I looked out the window, then jumped up, slamming my book shut. The clouds were already darkening to lead-gray, streaked with purple and pink at the edges.

The cashier shot me a perky smile from behind the counter. “Leaving already, Nissa?”

I barely heard her as I stuffed the book into my backpack and tossed out the remainder of my hot chocolate. Waving goodbye over my shoulder, I pushed the door open and hurried out into the gusty evening.

The air smelled like pine and chimney smoke. I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets and quickened my pace, dashing across the street to the empty field in front of the woods. The tall yellow grass lashed against my knees. I already knew I wasn’t setting foot inside the trees with the wind whipping up the branches like this.

I got to the dusty trail that circled the small forest and started left, keeping a nervous eye on the black spaces under the boughs. But only a few steps along, the wind died, cut off as abruptly as if someone had placed a giant glass over the field, stilling the air. I stopped dead too, and stared into the pines, debating.

Walking around added another half hour--twenty minutes if I ran. Either way, night would be complete by the time I got home. I hated the thought of how I’d react if the wind picked up again in full darkness. And I was already cutting it close. If I took too much longer, Ben would have an accident on the carpet and Mom would kill me.

It would take five minutes to cut through the trees at a jog. The full moon shone through a break in the clouds enough to illuminate the narrow path between the trunks. I’d taken this route countless times before, so why hesitate now?

Something felt different tonight, like the motionless air was heavier. Expectant. I paused just inside and wasted another minute peering into the gloom, seeing nothing but pine needles and scattered bushes. The only thing different, I realized, was that I’d been obsessing over Grandma’s tale ever since the wind knocked on the door of the coffee shop. Of course I felt jittery. I rolled my eyes, then went in at a casual walk to spite my fearful mind.

Shadows carpeted the trail. Despite my attempts to push it out of my head, the ghost story replayed itself in Grandma’s voice.

I had just turned eighteen, barely out of high school. Back then there were a lot more trees around town. The little stretch of woods at the bottom of the hill was part of a bigger forest--before the shopping center and the new school took its place. Your neighborhood hadn’t been built yet, but the walking path I used to take was close enough to where you live now.

I found myself jumping at sounds, and sang an annoying song under my breath as a distraction. Still, I imagined Grandma talking.

You could say it was a dark and stormy night. She’d always laughed at this. The wind sounded like a pack of hyenas coming straight from the heart of the trees. It made me nervous, even though I wasn’t a girl anymore. I swore I could hear voices in those gusts, like evil things coming closer, looking for me. I walked faster, trying to control my steps so I didn’t twist an ankle, and also to convince myself it was all in my imagination. Only then, the wind died to a gentle breeze. The voices stopped, and I saw a silvery glow bobbing toward me from a few yards away.

The slightest breath of air whispered through the pine needles, kissing my cheek with icy lips. I came to a halt, suddenly aware of how dim it was under the canopy, the clouds concealing the moon’s light. A burst of panic bloomed in my chest as I realized I’d wandered from the trail. Every tree trunk, rock, and shrub looked exactly the same as I whirled around, trying to find the dirt track.

Grandma’s voice continued unbidden in my mind. I waited a moment to see if it was someone approaching with a lantern, but instead it was only a light: a disembodied, glowing ball floating between the branches. Thin, bright streams, like arms, were growing out of it and reaching for me. My head felt slow and fuzzy, almost a happy feeling, but I held on to enough of my senses to turn tail and race out of there. I didn’t look back, and I never went into the woods again. She would shake a finger at Drew’s laughing face here. And I never will go into any forest, and that’s how you know I tell the truth.

Mom often told us of how Grandma would hide beneath blankets, trembling and whimpering on windy nights, and how Grandpa would have to calm her down. That was the part of the story that always made me wonder whether I shouldn’t have stopped believing.

Whoops. I Need to Sharpen My Hook

2011-09-22T00:28:00.000-07:00

Big, snuggly thanks to everyone who gave their opinions on the two hooks I posted yesterday! I'd been working on similar versions for so long that it never occurred to me until today to try something completely different. I thought about everyone's advice, and how they liked the 2nd clip better than the first. I agree, actually. I prefer a little character development too, rather than jumping straight into the action.

I'm pretty excited about what I wrote tonight. I tried to capture a sense of Nissa's personality, introduce a bit of her family life, create a sense of tension and conflict, give her a difficult choice, and reveal why she's afraid of going into the woods without that internal narrative info dump. Let me know if this sounds better than the other two.

I'm pasting the entire new scene, and highlighting the first 250 words that I'd use for the contest.

The wind picked up, sending a shivery howl through the branches, and I skipped a few steps away. Like it was laughing, the forest flung a handful of dry needles after me. The air smelled like pine and chimney smoke. I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets and quickened my pace.

Eva rolled her eyes, hurrying to keep up. “Seriously, Nissa? You just turned sixteen. Don’t tell me you still won’t take the shortcut home.”

“I’m not going in there.” I spared one glance at the dark spaces between the tree trunks before marching off along the field.

“But going around the woods takes another twenty minutes! My mom’s picking me up in an hour. We’ll never get our project done in time.”

“Let’s jog, then.”

My best friend yanked my arm, forcing me to stop and face the trees again. “Nope. You’re getting over this right now. I’ve walked down that trail a million times to get to your house and nothing’s happened. And your brother practically grew up in there.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Go ahead and laugh, but I believe what my grandma saw--”

Eva did laugh. “Yeah, about some guy swinging a lantern around in the forest a hundred years ago. She was just messing with you.”

“No! I know she was serious. She always stuck to her story, no matter how many times she told it.” I pulled my arm out of Eva’s hands, and the well-rehearsed words spilled out in a rush. “When she was like eighteen or so, she was walking down the path and thought she heard voices in the wind. Then she saw a light moving straight toward her. And it wasn’t a lantern, it was this disembodied glowing ball. Something like arms were growing out of it and reaching for her. She said it made her head feel slow and fuzzy, but she turned and ran. She never went back in after that.”

Eva made an impatient sound. “No matter how many times you tell me what your grandma said, it always sounds like a campfire ghost story.”

“Well, if she was making it up to scare us, then why did she freak out when Drew tried to get her to go with him one time? Why was she always afraid of the wind? She never went back in!”

“It doesn’t mean you have to be stupid.”

“Your mom’s stupid.”

A slow, wicked grin crept across Eva’s face. “Okay, I dare you.”

“Grow up,” I sniffed.

“No, you grow up, Nissa! Haven’t they cut down half the woods since your grandma was young? This can hardly be called a forest anymore. Listen, I’ll make you a bet: If you can get all the way through by yourself, I’ll buy you a smoothie twice a week after school for the rest of the year.”

I snorted and took another step on the dusty path that circled the trees. Eva cut in front of me.

“Okay, and...you can pick out any pair of awesome shoes you want and I’ll get them for you too. As long as they’re not a hundred dollars or anything.”

“Why would I want you to buy me shoes when I can borrow yours anytime?”

She came up close to my face, lowering her voice. “But if you don’t do this, you have to convince your dad to give us movie passes every weekend until New Year’s.”

“He lets us watch movies for free all the time anyway.”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to bug your brother at the concession counter every time for snacks and drinks, no charge. Drew hates that.”

“You’re not convincing me, and you’re not threatening me. Come on, we could’ve been halfway to my house by now!”

Eva tossed her wild blonde hair out of her eyes. “I’m curing you! All right, if you’re not going to take a bribe, then...I’m telling Ethan you’re in love with him.”

I froze, forgetting how to talk for a second. “You wouldn’t...”

“You know I would!”

“Oh, come on, Eva, really!” Smirking, she folded her arms, knowing she had me. I fixed her with my angriest glare. “Fine. Forget the shoes, though. You’re going to be my personal slave every day until after winter break, and buy me the smoothies, and get me a Barnes & Noble gift card that doesn't count as my Christmas present.”

“Done.” Eva waved toward the trees. “Go on, get it over with.”

The purple-streaked sky contrasted with the shadowy, waving branches above the path. I hesitated just under the first pine. “Why alone, though? It’d still be bad enough even if you went in with me.”

“No, it wouldn’t. You’re not really facing your fears if I’m there holding your hand. I’ll give you a two-minute head start. Run through if you have to, and just wait for me on the other side.” Eva gave me a reassuring pat, then a firm push, on the shoulder. “Better make it fast. It’s starting to get dark.”

The vivid image of a ghostly light creeping through the trees flashed through my mind. Before I could decide otherwise, I charged up the path between the trunks.

Where's My Fishing Pole?

2011-09-21T02:27:00.000-07:00

Can I hook a teen? Sure, I have two teens of my own, so I have years of experience. All you need is a really good, sturdy hook, like the one below, and then you gotta bait it with some pizza or an iPhone--

Okay, I'm going to stop now before I get in trouble! This particular contest is about an entirely different kind of hook: The beginning of your story. For me, crafting the perfect First Page Hook is scarier and more painful than a big, sharp fishhook right in the butt (which happened to my sister when she was a kid).

I have a great time writing once the story gets going, but that first page is a killer. I think I've revised it 10 times, and last week my wonderful writers' group told me it's still not hooky enough. (What would I do without them? Working on a MS which is nowhere near as polished, is the answer!)

Back to that in a minute. Brenda Drake is hosting a super-fun and challenging contest to show off our amazing, shiny, perfect 250-word hooks. Not just any old 250 words, but the book's very beginning - the exact part which is likely to hook and draw in the readers you're trying to attract. Kate and Taryn of Teen Eyes Editorial Services will be the judges, and boy am I as nervous as a worm hanging onto the end of a fishing line!

I'll definitely be tweaking and polishing my entry some more before the deadline on September 23. I haven't changed anything since writers' group last week, thinking I'd let it stew, but nothing has really come to mind yet. They think the 2nd paragraph is a bit of an info dump that can be written into the action instead. I'm also going to post the original beginning, in the hopes that maybe some of you can help me sort the problem out.

So this is what I'm using now:

The wind flung debris into my eyes over the pages of the book, jarring me back to reality. A faint glow from the full moon was just starting to show over the tops of the trees. Nighttime had sneaked up on me again. Great. I stopped walking long enough to stuff the paperback I’d been reading into my backpack before I fell on my face, then quickened my steps.

The little pockets of evergreen woods dotting my town are supposed to be haunted. It’s said when the wind moans through the branches on moonless nights, it’s really the sound of otherworldly creatures roaming the trees in search of something they lost centuries ago. Whether or not anyone believed it, they couldn’t deny the trees here seemed older and wilder than in the big mountain forests above town. Especially the narrow strip of pines below the hill near my house: It was always too dark and cold in there, even in the middle of the day. And the sound of the gusts blowing through the branches: Unearthly is the only word to describe it. More like the howling of animals than air rushing through leaves.

So it really sucked that the trail through the woods was the quickest way home. I hated my brother for telling me the old ghost story too many times as a kid, with that embellished, sadistic way only older brothers can do.

And the original beginning:

The wind rattled the door next to me like it was trying to get in, making me jump. My cup of hot chocolate fell off the table, spilling all over my backpack. I grabbed napkins from the dispenser and mopped the chocolate up, then wadded them into a sopping ball, which I tossed at the garbage bin. It hit the side with a juicy splat and slid to the floor.

The cashier shot me a perky smile from behind the counter. “You aren't leaving already, are you, Nissa? The only book you've cracked all afternoon's been that corny romance.”

“It's getting dark.” I stuffed the book into my backpack and aimed my cup at the bin, where it bounced off the rim to join the dripping napkins on the floor.

“See you tomorrow?”

I scooped my garbage up into the bin, then cast a nervous glance at the purple sky, where the faintest glow from the full moon was just starting to show over the tops of the trees. “Maybe. It seems like night is starting to come earlier now.” I waved goodbye, then headed across the parking lot. If I hurried, I could probably still make the shortcut through the woods. The wind blew harder as I reached the crosswalk, biting my cheeks with a chill that felt like early winter and smelled like log fires.

Darkness and wind. Not a good combination. There's an old legend about the little pockets of woods dotting my town.

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't think the cafe scene was really necessary. Just after that part, she gets to the woods, and then there's the description about why they're so creepy. It was this original beginning that hooked Sarah LaPolla of Curtis Brown and got her to request a full - but then she broke my heart anyway! ;)

I'd love to know what parts of either version you find to be the most hooky. When you start a book, what is it about the first page that sucks you in? An intro to the main characters before adding the conflict? Starting right in the middle of the action? Dialogue, internal narrative, or a combination? What books have you read recently whose beginnings you just loved?

I can't wait to read the other entrants' first 250 words and find out all the creative and amazing ways they're beginning their books!

Monday Har Har ARR!

2011-09-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day (which isn't all that different from any other day for me), I'm posting the bloopers from the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which never fail to give me a good laugh.

#3 is my favorite:

Ooh! I lied! I didn't know bloopers from the 4th movie were on Youtube yet, so imagine the fangirl fit I had just now when I discovered this little gem. I just watched it for the first time. A lotta giggling in this one. I loved how Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz kept cracking each other up. And Geoffrey Rush is always so funny at improvising his messed-up scenes.

One more little tidbit of pirate crazy before this wench signs off to get herself some grub:

Okay, so I was posting these things and Lia complained that everyone would have seen them already. And I was like, whatever, bimbo. I mean, "Yar, shut yer porthole, ye pox-ridden scullery maid!" I can watch these over and over again. So tell me what your favorite bloopers were.

Oh! Before I sign off, I want to share some fun news. So I logged onto my email this morning, and had a message from a member of an English band that creates a blend of folk and Indian music, and has been getting some attention in the steampunk scene. He liked my post on Vernian Process and very nicely invited me to do a post on them. I was really excited to get this email. "Squee! People read my blog!" So I've been listening to them today and really liking what I hear. A lot of it is very writing-friendly music. Friday I'll feature this band, so I'm leaving their name a mystery for now.

And now I'm off to sail the pirate van in search of booty and grub. Happy Funny Monday, ye lubbers!

100 YA Books Chain - What Have You Read?

2011-09-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

I'm building a chain that I've recently seen in a few other blogs, but I saw first at my friend Robin Weeks' blog. I love to show off the books I've read, but I was also surprised by the amount of books on this list that I haven't read. Some of them are in my TBR list, and some I haven't even heard of (gasp!).

I also couldn't help but add my comments or a mini-review in blue, although that was my idea - it's not an official requirement of the chain.

If you decide to forward it, leave a link to your blog post in the comments because I'm nosy that way. ;) Which books do you think should or shouldn't be on this list? Which ones should I add to my TBR list? (I love just about all YA fantasy, and I'm really getting into dystopian and post-apocalyptic stories too.) At the end of this post, I'm adding a few of my faves that aren't on the list. I'll probably come back and edit this post several times as I remember more!

Bold = I've Read It
Italics = I Own It
Underline = Started, didn't finish

1. Alex Finn – Beastly
2. Alice Sebold – The Lovely Bones
3. Ally Carter – Gallagher Girls (1, 2, 3, 4)
4. Ally Condie – Matched
5. Alyson Noel – The Immortals (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
6. Anastasia Hopcus – Shadow Hills
7. Angie Sage – Septimus Heap (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
8. Ann Brashares – The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (1, 2, 3, 4)
9. Anna Godbersen – Luxe (1, 2, 3, 4)
10. Anthony Horowitz – Alex Rider (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
11. Aprilynne Pike – Wings (1, 2, 3)
12. Becca Fitzpatrick – Hush, Hush (1, 2)
13. Brandon Mull – Fablehaven (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) LOVE!

14. Brian Selznick – The Invention of Hugo Cabret
15. Cassandra Clare – The Mortal Instruments (1, 2, 3, 4)
16. Carrie Jones – Need (1, 2, 3)
17. Carrie Ryan – The Forest of Hands and Teeth (1, 2, 3) I couldn't continue reading this series, the narrative was so repetitive and the MC was shallow and selfish.
18. Christopher Paolini - Inheritance (1, 2, 3, 4) Didn't love this series enough to finish it; too long and overly descriptive (sorry, Eragon fans!)
19. Cinda Williams Chima – The Heir Chronicles (1, 2, 3)
20. Colleen Houck – Tigers Saga (1, 2)
21. Cornelia Funke – Inkheart (1, 2, 3) Loved the first one, got a little tedious in 2 & 3 because of the writing style, "as if this," "as if that" in nearly every paragraph! It drove me crazy.
22. Ellen Hopkins – Impulse
23. Eoin Colfer – Artemis Fowl (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) So intelligently written! Made-for-the-movies action.
24. Faraaz Kazi – Truly, Madly, Deeply
25. Frank Beddor – The Looking Glass Wars (1, 2, 3)
26. Gabrielle Zevin – Elsewhere
27. Gail Carson Levine – Fairest
28. Holly Black – Tithe (1, 2, 3)
29. J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) Need I say more?

30. James Dashner – The Maze Runner (1, 2)
31. James Patterson – Maximum Ride (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
32. Jay Asher – Thirteen Reasons Why
33. Jeanne DuPrau – Books of Ember (1, 2, 3, 4)
34. Jeff Kinney – Diary of a Wimpy Kid (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
35. John Boyne – The Boy in the Striped Pajamas Saw the movie, I can't read the book. I don't like crying that much.
36. John Green – An Abundance of Katherines
37. John Green – Looking for Alaska
38. John Green – Paper Towns
39. Jonathan Stroud – Bartimaeus (1, 2, 3, 4)
40. Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl – Caster Chronicles (1, 2)
41. Kelley Armstrong – Darkest Powers (1, 2, 3)
42. Kristin Cashore – The Seven Kingdoms (1, 2)
43. Lauren Kate – Fallen (1, 2, 3)
44. Lemony Snicket - Series of Unfortunate Events (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
45. Libba Bray – Gemma Doyle (1, 2, 3)
46. Lisa McMann – Dream Catcher (1, 2, 3)
47. Louise Rennison – Confessions of Georgia Nicolson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
48. M.T. Anderson – Feed
49. Maggie Stiefvater – The Wolves of Mercy Falls (1, 2, 3)
50. Margaret Peterson Haddix – Shadow Children (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
51. Maria V. Snyder – Study (1, 2, 3)
52. Markus Zusak - The Book Thief
53. Markus Zusak – I am the Messenger
54. Mark Haddon – The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
55. Mary Ting – Crossroads
56. Maureen Johnson – Little Blue Envelope (1, 2)
57. Meg Cabot – All-American Girl (1, 2)
58. Meg Cabot – The Mediator (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
59. Meg Cabot – The Princess Diaries (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
60. Meg Rosoff – How I live now
61. Megan McCafferty – Jessica Darling (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
62. Megan Whalen Turner – The Queen’s Thief (1, 2, 3, 4)
63. Melina Marchetta – On the Jellicoe Road
64. Melissa de la Cruz – Blue Bloods (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
65. Melissa Marr – Wicked Lovely (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
66. Michael Grant – Gone (1, 2, 3, 4)
67. Nancy Farmer – The House of the Scorpion
68. Neal Shusterman – Unwind
69. Neil Gaiman – Coraline A must-read for anyone who loves a very creepy children's story! LOVED it.
70. Neil Gaiman – Stardust Also loved this, but I liked the movie slightly better because I'm a sucker for happier endings.
71. Neil Gaiman – The Graveyard Book LOVE LOVE LOVE! When is the movie coming out?

72. P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast – House of Night (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 )
73. Philip Pullman – His Dark Materials (1, 2, 3)
74. Rachel Caine – The Morganville Vampires (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
75. Rachel Cohn & David Levithan – Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist
76. Richelle Mead – Vampire Academy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
77. Rick Riordan – Percy Jackson and the Olympians (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
78. Rom LcO’Feer – Somewhere Carnal Over 40 Winks
79. S.L. Naeole – Grace (1, 2, 3, 4)
80. Sabrina Bryan & Julia DeVillers – Princess of Gossip
81. Sarah Dessen – Along for the Ride
82. Sarah Dessen – Lock and Key
83. Sarah Dessen – The Truth about Forever
84. Sara Shepard – Pretty Little Liars (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
85. Scott Westerfeld - Leviathan (1, 2) I love steampunk, this is on my TBR list as soon as I've caught up.
86. Scott Westerfeld - Uglies (1, 2, 3)
87. Shannon Hale – Books of a Thousand Days
88. Shannon Hale – Princess Academy
89. Shannon Hale – The Books of Bayern (1, 2, 3, 4)
90. Sherman Alexie & Ellen Forney – The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
91. Simone Elkeles – Perfect Chemistry (1, 2, 3)
92. Stephanie Meyer – The Host [This, of course, is not YA—not sure why it’s on the list]
93. Stephenie Meyer – Twilight Saga (1, 2, 3, 4) It was hard to be honest with this one, because I'm not a Twilight fan. LOL
94. Sue Monk Kidd – The Secret Life of Bees
95. Susan Beth Pfeffer – Last Survivors (1, 2, 3)
96. Suzanne Collins – Hunger Games (1, 2, 3) Loved these books - so, so much!

97. Suzanne Collins – Underland Chronicles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
98. Terry Pratchett – Tiffany Aching (1, 2, 3, 4)
99. Tonya Hurley – Ghost Girl (1, 2, 3)
100. Wendelin Van Draanen – Flipped

Now - I'd love to hear about your favorites, either on this list or not! If you wish, forward the chain and let me know in the comments. If you don't forward it, you'll get a papercut. ;)

Now for my additions to the list:

The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke - Charming and thoughtful
13 Treasures by Michelle Harrison - I've only read the first book, can't wait to read the others!
The Faerie Wars series by Herbie Brennan - A little weird in parts, but action-packed
Bones of Faerie and its sequel, Faerie Winter, by Janni Lee Simner - This post-apocalyptic fantasy is creepy and paints fairies in a sinister light. I thought the first book was better developed than the second.
The Moongate, Blood Moon, and Cobalt by Kristin Baker Przybyla - Nothing wrong with a little wishful thinking!

Music For Writing: MLP:FiM

2011-09-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

I abbreviated that, otherwise y'all would probably say, "I cannot abide how this lady has clearly lost her mind, therefore I wash my hands of this weirdness," then un-follow me and close my post without reading it. The few people who do understand what the abbreviation stands for will say something like, "Oh, indeed. About time you made a music post about this awesomesauce, do carry on now."

Please bear with me. The music here is well worth it!

I've just always freakin' loved unicorns, all right?

It's actually Lia who's lost her mind, and the rest of us are just following. She graduated from high school and suddenly reverted into a big freak who watches girly cartoons. Specifically My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You should have seen her when we were in the toy section at Walmart a few weeks ago. "GET ME A PINKIE PIE PONY!!" Then she and Emily started hitting each other with light sabers, and I couldn't decide whether to laugh hysterically or sneak off before someone associated me with those two.

Okay, so the cartoon is actually pretty fun. (My favorite ponies are Fluttershy and Luna.) The fan-made music is even better. Definitely something I can play in the background while writing.

Love the old-time piano in the middle of this one!

The next two are also great for kitchen dance parties

(aka "supposed to be doing the dishes, dancing instead").

"Bell Crystal" isn't a MLP mix, but it's from the same artist who did "A Waltz For Trixie." It's one of my favorites.

Yeah, I know. I'm a grownup who listens to music made by a bunch of grownups who watch pony cartoons. Hee

Job update: The hubby put his resume in for a couple of great positions in Fallon, NV, which is only about 30 miles east of where we live. It's a nice semi-rural area. So what did I do when I heard about it? Same thing I do when I get a request from an agent: get my hopes way up and start planning as if the goal has already been achieved! I immediately started looking up properties in Fallon, despite the fact that we won't be able to move until we get the house fixed up to either sell or rent out, and that could be another year. I don't care though, as long as he finds something. And I'd love to move to the country! I was finding big houses on ACRES. Woo! I want little goaties and bunnies and a ranch dog and barn cats and little pony unicorns and and and...

And Blogger is dumb. Every time I schedule it to post on a certain time, it just saves my post in the drafts and waits for me to publish it myself. Durr. But that's okay, because I forgot the 10 random facts about myself, and my blog award! Thank you, Cheryl of Off Wi' the Fairies!

1. I really like the pictures in my blog posts to be placed on the left or right side instead of centered. I just think it looks cool next to the text instead of in between it. Does that even count as a random fact?

2. I'm addicted to the Facebook game Zombie Lane, and I wish my house looked as cool as my game house. My avatar self is a zombie-butt-kickin' master gardener!

3. I desperately want to move to the country and have a bunny hutch, goats, chickens, and a garden. I also want to learn how to make goat cheese and have fresh eggs. I may or may not want fresh chicken, depending on how awful it is to, umm...slaughter them yourself. *cry*

4. Getting stepped on by a full-grown English mastiff is quite as painful as getting stepped on by a week-old calf. Mastiffs drool a lot more though. Yes, I know from personal experience.

5. I don't sleep well if my kitty Oreo isn't curled up on my head.

6. I HATE talking on the phone. I much prefer texting, email, or Facebook.

7. I lose things all the time by putting them in a safe place where I won't forget where they are. Yeah right.

8. Japanese food. Sushi. Noodles. Yum.

9. My dishwasher is broken so I use it as a giant bread box now.

10. I love things that traditionally freak girls out, like frogs, snakes, and bats. However, if it has more than 4 legs, get it away get it away!!

Blogging Madness! (A Little Help?)

2011-09-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Almost forgot to blog today! Wednesday is kind of my unofficial day to blog about writing, blogfests, or books in general, and I'm having a hard time staying consistent. So I think today is as good a day as any to make a post on something I've been struggling with lately.

Thanks to blogfests, campaigns, awards, and finding new blogging friends, I've had a lot of new followers in the past few weeks. Yay, excited me! I actually get comments now! Hee. And I try to follow back whenever I can (more on the few reasons I can't in a minute). I've lost count of how many great blogs I'm following now, and some of you guys are very active bloggers! That's great, I've learned so much from you all. Right now I have 6 windows open with some friends' blog posts for me to read and comment on, which leads me to my small conundrum: how to keep up with the blogs I'm following, spread the comment love on as many posts as possible, network the crap out of myself and my friends, tackle my TBR pile, write my own blog posts, and still have time to write actual books? Oh, and maybe be a mom somewhere in all that too. Some of you guys, myself included, participate in more than one blog. How do we balance all of it without staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning to catch up on all the reading?

Now on to the subject of following blogs: I try and follow everyone who's following me. I'm nice that way. ;) Sometimes a follower doesn't seem to have a blog of their own, but I'll look. If you don't, well, not much I can do about that. Sometimes there's a great blog that I haven't figured out how to follow because I'm dumb and I can't find a follow button anywhere. Or there's only a "follow by email" button and I'll admit the fault is mine here, I'm a creature of habit and I really like catching up on blogs through Blogger's dashboard page. Or you might use a different blogging platform, like Wordpress or your own website, and that's when I really start to panic. I have followed a couple of Wordpress blogs, but I get notifications in my email and I just don't like filling up my inbox too much if I can help it. Plus Wordpress has this weird thing that makes you fill out a form to subscribe to everything from comments to following each individual blog post, and that can get to be a pain. So I guess my question here is whether I'm doing this the hard way. I've heard about something called Google Read? Or Google Write? I have no idea what it is, but some people have mentioned that's how they keep up with all the blogs they follow. Help! I'm such a noob, I'm sure there's an easier way to do this that I just haven't figured out yet.

Robin: "Holy long paragraphs, Batman!"
Batman: "Forget the paragraphs, what happened to our pants?"

Oh! I have a personal update: Yesterday the hubby got an email from a company in Texas that he'd sent his resume to, asking if he was still interested in the position. I assume interviews will follow. We have mixed emotions about this. I'd miss the Sierra Nevadas and snow. The kids will have a hard time being uprooted. I'll have a hard time being uprooted. We're going to have a heck of a time getting this ratty old house fixed up and cleaned out for selling. He may end up moving out there on his own until the end of the school year, meaning all the packing and cleaning will be up to me (except I'll have a blast getting rid of all the crap we've accumulated over the years). But on the positive side: MONEY! Oh, I mean a better paycheck and security. Hopefully decent health insurance. A nice house! And the idea of going to a whole new place is kind of exciting. (Not looking forward to the summers there, though.) I'd been hoping for Idaho or Utah, but I guess you gotta go where the jobs are. Please keep your fingers crossed and the prayers going out!

Speaking of new blogging friends, one of my new friends Cheryl just gave me the Versatile Blogger award! I love her blog name, Off Wi' the Fairies, and her fun little fairy avatar. I've been a faithful reader of her blog since I started following her a few weeks ago. Thanks, Cheryl! I'm supposed to share 10 random facts about myself, but I think I'll do that in my music post on Friday, since this one is long enough now. And I have to think of 10 facts I haven't shared yet.

Monday Funny: The To-Do List

2011-09-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

When I started up my computer earlier this week, I found that my daughter Lia had it. Instead of the usual awesome conglomeration of brass gears, I was greeted with the following picture in the middle of my desktop:

It's still there.

Now I'm going to share my favorites from this awesome to-do list we found. Tell me your favorites, or if you plan on doing some of these - better yet, if you already have!

1. Change Facebook name to "No One." Like people's statuses...

2. Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public.

3. Put sign on door that reads "Dumble."

4. Have a conversation on Facebook with a friend. Delete all my comments. Make friend look insane. My mom does that!

5. Find a cookie. Tell yourself that eating the cookie is a bad idea. Eat the cookie anyway. Regret eating the cookie. Deal with guilt by eating more cookies. Yeah, I don't totally do that. Nope, not me.

6. Hike in a national park. See a double rainbow. Break down crying.

7. Order a glass of melted ice with extra frozen water. Okay, we had all kinds of geniuses doing this when I worked at Denny's! And they think they're the only ones to ever come up with it.

8. Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo.

9. Go to Barnes and Noble. Put all cook books in the Women's Studies section. Heh heh, sorry but that made me giggle.

10. Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner.

11. Find out what color a chameleon is while it's on a mirror.

12. Spray a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Laugh because he will never have any friends.

13. Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public. We're going to do this! In front of my husband, with a jar of Miracle Whip, because he despises Miracle Whip.

14. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.

15. Buy angry birds stuffed animals. Walk around town throwing them at people. We have some, and have done this. Well, only with the friends, not around town.

16. Watch MTV for five minutes. Cry over the death of music.

17. Smack kid in the face with bottle of Johnson's No More Tears shampoo. Sue Johnson & Johnson for false advertising.

18. Close browser window. Get a life. Yeah, I'm still working on that.

19. Find a Sicilian. Challenge him to a battle of wits involving iocaine powder, wine, and a pretty lady.

20. Mash up Oreos. Pour into flower pot. Eat in public. I've told the girls they have to do this when they're pregnant, and not to use a spoon.

21. Buy an axe. Yell "random axe of kindness" and throw it at someone.

22. Go trick-or-treating on April fool's day. Lia and Emily are planning this now.

23. Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

24. Become an old man. Wear Speedo. Go to beach. I bet a lot of them do that on purpose!

25. Hide money in pocket of winter coat. Forget money is there. Get excited when you find the money there come winter time.

26. Watch Disney Channel for five minutes. Apologize to Walt for so many things. Except Phineas & Ferb, which is just about the only Disney Channel show worth watching!

27. Buy Hannah Montana socks. Step on her face regularly.

28. Push on door for several minutes. Finally read the pull sign. That's totally me!

29. Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.

30. Die. Come back as a ghost. Find people I hate. Hide their car keys. That explains my constantly missing car keys! I didn't realize I have so many dead enemies...

31. Cross breed horse and narwhal. Yeah, unicorns!!

32. Clip a combination lock into the ring of someone with hollow ear gauges. Run away.

33. Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.

34. Go into a store's fitting room. After several minutes yell loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

35. Open store next to Forever 21. Name it "Finally 22." Maybe the clothes there will fit real people...

36. Dress like Aladdin. Go to a carpet store and scream, "HOW DO I GET THIS THING TO WORK?!"

37. Write a book. Entitle it "A New York Times Best Seller." Not a bad idea actually!

38. Pee on tree in backyard. Watch dog freak out when he smells it.

39. Watch various made-for-tv Disney movies to find out what life at high school is really like.

40. Find Bruno Mars' girlfriend. Throw a grenade at her.

I do have a serious side that I allow to see the light of day every once in a while. Today was my turn at ANWA Founder & Friends. I wrote a post on 9/11 here.

Brief writing update: Still going through the changes Jolene suggested in The Moongate. I've been doing a lot of combining scenes and a few deletions to bring the word count down even more. Holding off on further queries until I can get an accurate word count. Regularly bursting into tears!

Music That's NOT For Writing: Or, How to Mess With Pedestrians

2011-09-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

Oh, I have such fun with this. I drive an 8-year-old minivan that has its share of dings and scratches and squeaky brakes. It's definitely not a cool ride. It has a Depeche Mode window decal on the back window that undoubtedly gets chuckles from some, and waves and open-window shout-outs from other cool people. But aside from being a total mom car (and there's nothing wrong with that), it has killer speakers. Not the kind that pump out so much bass it bends the windows of every house in the neighborhood for several blocks, but the kind you can blast loud enough to get some attention if you're driving with the windows down. (Well, I have to when it's hot. My A/C is broken!)

I don't do this often; I do, after all, have my hearing to look after, and I must be doing a pretty good job since I can still hear those mosquito tones that supposedly only teenagers can hear. (It hurts!) But sometimes when I'm driving through the shopping center parking lot across the street from the high school during lunch or after school, I can't resist playing one of the following songs, because their confused expressions as I'm cruising past are so amusing. I guess it must look odd seeing a mom in a minivan listening to something crazy. (By the way, this little joke didn't work when Lia was in school and I'd drop her off or pick her up, because they knew me. "Oh, that's just Lia's mom.")

This one is fun because it's super obnoxious. Dubstep is crazy! How do you even dance to it? We've had some awesome moments in the kitchen trying out interpretive moves that might match the beat. Until someone almost lost an eye.

Flogging Molly, 7 Deadly Sins. Fun pirate song! Obviously I chose the video that was set to POTC - because pirates!

By the way, I've considered sticking a jolly roger flag on my car, but I suspect that would be overkill. Abney Park is selling some awesome window decals, though, that I simply must obtain when I have the funds. Bonus fun: playing pirate music when I'm pulling into a parking space, then getting out in my pirate clothes. This is how mama gets her kicks.

This one just rocks. Extra fun at the end when it gets all screamo. I named a character after one of their band members. Then I killed him. >:D

Haha, it's not all scary screamy music. My mom has the following two Stolen Babies songs on her iPod:

And of course I can't forget my favorite Abney Park song! Building Steam is especially awesome really, really loud.

Okay, so I'm aware that some of these songs, or even just the act of listening to loud music with the windows down, automatically makes me 20% less cool to teenagers, which might not be the best thing when you write for that age group. But I've discovered that the coolest teenagers are the ones who embrace their own inner dorks, and who aren't embarrassed by the wacky antics of a total goober mom. (I love Lia, Emily, and their friends!)

Next week I'll have some more music for writing to share, from an unexpected source.

Not a Night-Owl By Choice

2011-09-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

I used to work graveyard at Denny's, and before that (and for a while after) I just liked to stay up late. It seemed like that was the time my brain kicked into gear and I could get stuff done. I still feel like the middle of the night is when I do my best thinking and writing, but with 5 kids in school, it's an insane choice to make. How I looked forward to the day Anya would start kindergarten, so I'd be able to devote those 2 1/2 hours to writing and try to get myself on a much better sleeping schedule.

Well, today is day 3 of kindergarten, and I've been up all night. Again. That's right, I tossed and turned for hours. Even got up a couple of times to go outside and appreciate the distant thunderstorm, and get myself some warm milk. I've been stealing naps during school time instead of writing.

Some of you know, but most of you don't: Last January, my husband lost what we'd thought was a very stable job of 10 years. With it went the best health benefits any company would offer, and pay that, until it was gone, we'd taken for granted. He was able to find another job, but with a huge pay cut - almost entry-level, and he has 15 years of experience in software engineering. Try supporting 6 kids on a one-income, entry-level paycheck. And then our new health benefits are 10 times more expensive, with co-pays that cost twice as much. I've never known worry and stress like this!

He's been looking for a better job, with no luck so far. There's nothing in our area, and he hasn't had any bites with all the resumes he's sent out to companies in other states. I can't go back to work at Denny's because I have nerve damage in my shoulders. And the kids need me at home anyway. (I'm still keeping my eyes open for something part-time that might work out, though.)

I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep since last January. When I'm not worried about his finding a better-paying job, I'm beating myself up for not being able to afford to send Lia to college. She's so intelligent, wants an education, and deserves one. She herself is still having trouble finding a job of her own, after looking all summer. And there's not even a hope of doing anything for the kids, vacations or even buying them a little something they want now and then.

I really don't mean to complain - well, maybe I do just feel the need to vent, big-time, since I try not to complain most of the time. And I'm sure a big part of this post is bad judgement due to lack of sleep. LOL

But really, I'm asking you guys, if you can keep us in your prayers, that Dennis will be able to get a better position somewhere, anywhere, soon, that we'll be able to sell our house and get out of here, that someday I'll maybe be able to sell a few of my books, and that I'll be able to hold it all together until then. And some sleep would be really great, too. Because this is totally gonna be me every day until I can find some peace of mind.

Hopefully a year from now I can look back on this post and say, "Wow, that wasn't so hard, but I'm sure glad it's over!" And then I'll fall asleep. ;)

Flash-Fiction Challenge

2011-09-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

The first challenge for Rach's Writers' Platform-Building Campaign is something I've never done before: flash fiction! I never thought I could write such a short short story, but I surprised myself today. Maybe I got a little cliched with the theme, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.

The rules:

The story begins with the words The door swung open.
It has to be 200 words or less.
Bonus challenges: The story is exactly 200 words, and ends with the door swung shut.

So not only did I write flash-fiction for the first time ever, I also accepted the bonus challenges! Wowee-wow!

After you read my story, pop over to Rach's blog to read a few of the other entries. Or all, if you want, except there's a crapload of 'em! Yay for my fellow campaigners!

The door swung open to reveal the dark shapes of toppled boxes, crushed and strewn about, their insides scattered. Lacy gasped, flicking the light switch next to the closet door. She stepped over a pile of broken dishes, then slowly turned to take in the scene. All her careful stacking of the moving boxes, an entire day’s worth, destroyed in one night. Her muscles ached.

“Racoons, maybe?” This must have been the reason for all the bumps and crashes that had drifted through the upper floor and made their way into her dreams the previous night. She stalked to the window set into the opposite wall, rubbing the goosebumps on her arms. The tiny room was as cold as a walk-in fridge, even in the middle of summer. She’d have to ask the landlord about that. She braced her hands on the wood and strained upward, before noticing the nails that were driven in along the seams to keep the window closed.

A soft sound made Lacy whirl. She just had time to see the deep gouges cut into the inside wall of the closet before a shadow shifted there, and the light clicked off.

The door swung shut.

Monday Funny: Picture Battles!

2011-09-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder why I can't find a job?

Happy labor day, everyone! Let's celebrate by not doing any work and just having a Monday Funny instead.

So my daughter Lia (pictured left) and I do this thing we call picture battles on Facebook, in which we find captioned pictures or fan art of stuff we love (or just love to make fun of) and post them on each other's walls, trying to out-funny the other. I've saved my favorites (i.e., the ones that had me rolling around on the floor with tears in my eyes) in a photo album on Facebook. I won't post them all in one go, so there will be enough for several Monday Funnies!

I guess with Blogger you click on the pictures (or right click to open in a new tab or window) if you need to see a bigger version, which you will with a couple of these.

This one I made myself, and was rather proud of.

Funny Harry Potter pictures are favorites of ours! We have tons of 'em.

If the next one doesn't make sense, do a search for Antoine Dodson. :D

Hey! Hermione is like the fairy Navi from Legend of Zelda! Get it? Get it?

I apologize for the following:

Pirates of the Caribbean: another favorite. This particular artist is hilarious.

I hope you guys have enjoyed these pictures as much as I enjoyed going back through my photo album and having a laugh all over again! Like I said, I have plenty more. Should I post more than 10 next time, or are 10 pics enough for a good Monday laugh?

Wednesday I'll post something related to writing. I think I have a topic picked out. And I'll leave y'all with a funny video of my son Elijah from about 3 years ago.

Music for Writing: Doctor Who

2011-09-02T01:41:00.000-07:00

Murray Gold's a freaking genius. In honor of new Doctor Who episodes finally airing, here are a few of my favorites from the soundtrack that sound real nice playing in the background while I'm writing action or developing setting.

Also, I promised Abby I'd put up some eye candy on my blog. Killing two birds with one stone! Muhahaha.

A great one for epic worldbuilding:

My all-time favorite:

Beginning, Middle, and End: Parts 2 and 3

2011-09-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, these are the last two parts of a two-part three-parter because I'm posting the beginning, middle, and end of two more books after posting my official blogfest entry with Blood Moon yesterday. (Does that even make sense? No.) Oh well. Whatever.

The Moongate's beginning:

The wind rattled the coffee shop’s door as if it were trying to get in, making me jump and spill hot chocolate all over my backpack. I grabbed napkins from the dispenser and mopped the chocolate up, then wadded them into a sopping ball, which I tossed at the garbage can. It hit the side with a juicy splat and slid to the floor.

Middle (hee hee):

“Hey, you have irrepressible instincts too,” I shot back. “Might I remind you of Mom’s flower beds you couldn’t stop peeing all over last summer?” If he answered, I didn’t hear him. I was already running down the hill. The Gate pulled me in like I was attached to the other end of a rope.

Aaand, the end. You saw it here first. Except I'm thinking of changing it slightly, not sure yet though:

The moon was rising. Its light embraced me, converting to magic that danced around my face and arms in silver-white sparks. I hurried over to my tree’s roots, where I would help the others find the source of life so they could plant her back in the soil where she belonged.

A part of Aronaur, where both of us belonged.

And now for Cobalt, my WIP. I'm actually going to post the beginning of the second chapter, since I posted the entire first chapter not very long ago. Chapter two takes place several years after the death of Kate's mother, which takes place in the first chapter, so it could almost be considered a beginning.

Auntie Gerta was a big woman, pale and solid like a whitewashed wall, a wall which now towered over Kate as she washed the breakfast dishes. She jabbed a pudgy finger between the girl's shoulderblades. “Don't think I'll let you off easy after yesterday's mischief.”

The middle:

Kate turned her head and saw Ania nearby, leaning against the lower deck's railing and staring down at the trees as intently as if she'd just dropped a sack of gold. Other crew members were arrayed along the deck, so she withdrew slightly back into the compartment but continued to look in the direction they all faced. A distant scream cut through the motors' humming. Ania tensed, swinging her crossbow in the direction the sound came from. Another shriek followed the first, louder and closer. Kate had thought it to be a human scream at first, but then realized it was coming from the forest.

The end - which isn't the real end, obviously, just the latest paragraph I've written:

“The sea air does something to calm the forest.” Ania reached up and grasped a twig. It wrapped around her wrist, its leaves waving feebly around her hand, but she easily broke it free and flung the twig to the ground. The branch crept closer for a moment, then gave up and settled back into the canopy. “And most of the Cobalt lies deep within the country, near your village, not so close to the coast. It’s the Cobalt, you know, that makes the trees come alive.”

Also, go check out my latest post at ANWA Founder & Friends. It's probably boring or something, because I need some comments! LOL Give them a follow if you feel inclined. My fellow ANWA bloggers have some great insights on writing, our LDS beliefs, and life in general.

A Really Super Fun Blogfest

2011-08-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my gear doodness, this particular blogfest is so much fun! Kate Larkindale has challenged us to share not just the beginning of our projects, but the middle and end as well. Since I have two completed manuscripts and a work in progress, I had a really hard time deciding which one to use in the contest. Well, maybe I didn't exactly decide. Maybe I'm going to use one for the official contest, and make a post tomorrow to include the other two!

So without further ado, here is my entry for the blogfest. YAAAY!

Blood Moon's opening paragraph:

“Pants?” Eiden looked at me oddly. I had my skirt hiked up, showing my pale, bare legs.

And the middle paragraph:

“Arrows started raining on us from inside the Wall,” Amarie said. “Theryn and Alara ran back to defend us. At least two arrows hit Theryn.”

And now, the end. I have to warn you, this is a major cliffhanger ending that probably won't be a big deal to most people, but if you ever wanted to read all of Blood Moon without spoilers, or say this is the future and my dreams have come true and these books are already published and you're just going through a million of my old blog posts because I'm your favorite author and you love my blog but you haven't finished the second book yet--well, don't read the next part! (I'm counting the last sentence as part of the paragraph, otherwise it's like nothing.)

At my orders, most of the Guard members fell back but two of them still held onto the arms of the one they were trying to subdue. He shook thick, dirty-blonde bangs out of his eyes and peered at me through the forest gloom.

“N-Nissa?” my brother Drew said. “Is that you?”

Yay! So that's my entry. Don't forget to pop over to Kate's blog, look at all the other entries, and vote for ~~Kristin Baker~~ your favorite! Also be a dear and follow Kate and all those other peeps too.

Almost Forgot the Monday Funny!

2011-08-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

It was the first day of school for us. Bittersweet for me. Lia's all graduated and stuff and is still looking for a job, so she's home and taking a few online college classes. It's really nice not having to battle the high school parking lot this year! I swear I'll never do that again. Emily's going to Connections Academy, which is an online school, so she's home as well. And my baby Anya is starting kindergarten. I expect my schedule to have some exciting changes, including the potential for more writing time, but right now I'm sort of reeling. Can't help but feel a little bit older, as I do at the beginning of every school year.

So I think we need a laugh! I try to keep my Facebook statuses interesting, as does Lia. I thought I'd copy and paste a few of my favorites.

Mine:

Here's a warning for my friends my age: When you behave like a teenager, the next day you feel like an old lady.

Having a random mattress fall on me while I'm just minding my own business on the couch: not my idea of the best way to start the day.

You guys totally missed me falling off the toilet and ending up halfway in the bathtub!

I throw spiders at Lia, it's an involuntary reaction. This morning was the third time it happened. She doesn't know about it yet.

Me: "Guess what I pulled out of my armpit yesterday?"
Dennis: (ignoring me completely) "Where's Emily?"
Lia: "Nose hair!"

Aw man. I just walked into the back bedroom screaming, "NO NO NOOO! Where's my cell phone, I'm gonna kill her!" Then I realized the window was open and the neighbors behind us are all outside.

Dear Similac: Thanks for the huge box of baby formula in the mail (addressed to my husband). My "baby" is five! I sure hope that was a free sample!

So, since the hubby is clearly enjoying his free baby formula samples, I signed him up for tampon samples.

Anya: Princes and princesses don't stick their fingers in their mouths or pick their boogers. I go to the bathroom and blow my nose.
Grandma: But I have a picture of you picking your nose.
Anya: You should delete that one.

Lia's:

My sister glued eyes on a rock and named it Amanda Palmer.

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today is Friday, Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday and afterwards is Sunday. Uh... I don't know what's next because Rebecca Black didn't tell me. Is we so excited or what??

I just slingshot a carrot into my neighbor's yard...

Anya while lying on me: "My couch is comfy but annoying. It won't stop talking!"

I walked into the bathroom and Anya followed me in and asked what I was doing. I said I was going to the bathroom and she said, "Oh. Sorry, ho."

There's a lot of butt-slapping going on in my house. O_o

Anya while playing Dolls: "Come on, little Mexican!"
...What?

I just dyed all the milk in my fridge blue. I can't wait until someone finds it.

A Campaign? Count Me In!

2011-08-29T00:05:00.000-07:00

Found this from my friend Abby! I'm cutting it close in joining, but this time I'm actually still within the deadline. :D

It looks like fun: a platform to build contacts in the writing world, participate in challenges and contests, and make all kinds of crazy new friends. I'm all for it! More to come, I'm sure, as I find out about the challenges. (The link is in the badge at the left, and also in my sidebar.)

If you're a writer and you haven't joined, get over there quick! The deadline is August 31st!

It Was a Really Good Reason...

2011-08-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so...I missed the deadline of the Spark Blogfest. Whoopsie! And I was so excited about it too! Well, in my defense, the night before I'd planned on blogging, I had an intestinal problem that kept me awake all night, but I won't go into details. I know this won't count as part of the official blogfest, but I want to answer the questions anyway. And I'll make up my tardiness by the end of this post. Promise!

The SparkFest questions:

What book made you realize you were doomed to be a writer?

I don't think it was any particular book or author, but around 3rd to 4th grade I got into Judy Blume's books and that's when my love for reading really took off. By 6th grade, I'd discovered the fantasy genre with books like The Hobbit, A Wrinkle in Time, and the Chronicles of Narnia. I was hooked, and it was about that time when I started writing stories of my own.

What author set off that spark of inspiration for your current work in progress?

Two things: The first was from a book I read a little over a year ago, Bones of Faerie by Janni Lee Simner. The trees in the main character's world are very creepy and dangerous, which immediately intrigued me. As the story evolved, the forest ended up being a bit different from how I'd imagined at first. Not a bad thing, but I started playing around with ideas of a story with the kind of forest I'd had in mind. Then I thought I should tie it into the steampunk story I'd been trying to develop, and have the forest itself be the main reason the characters need to travel in airships. The second spark of inspiration for Cobalt, as I've recently mentioned, was the music from a couple of great steampunk bands.

Is there a book or author that changed your world view?

Anne McCaffrey, author of the Dragonriders of Pern novels, taught me so much about world building and bringing characters to life. I don't think the spark to keep writing would have burned so strongly during my teenage years if I hadn't been so avidly reading her books.

That's it, I guess. Oh--I did say I was going to make up for missing the deadline! So here's a randomly weird video to confuse and confuffle you. It's whited out in parts because I didn't want anyone seeing my nasty carpet!

No More Suspicions. Yes, I Really Am Crazy!

2011-08-25T00:15:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then. So this awful picture of me just won't stop popping up around the internet. My kids love to re-post it in places like Facebook, or hack into my account and make it my profile picture, so I finally gave up trying to hide it. It will haunt me forever!

Now as I'd mentioned in my previous post, I tend to get depressed a lot, but because antidepressants have all kinds of awful side effects that I'd rather not experience again, I manage it by listening to upbeat music, dressing like a pirate, and generally trying to have a lot of crazy fun and laugh as much as I can. This picture was taken years ago, and if I'm remembering correctly I'd just had a baby, which always resulted in some pretty bad post-partum depression. This is where the crazy fun stuff comes in. I put on heavy clown makeup (the picture didn't even do it justice, I mean it was really heavy) and messed with my hair. Just about then, the doorbell rang. I looked through the peekhole and found it was our neighbor, wanting to play with Lia. So I threw open the door and yelled, "HELLO!" Scared the living heck out of the poor girl!

So let this be a lesson: You never know what's going to happen when you knock on my door.

I got a couple more awards from my friends Donna and Samantha! Thank you, ladies! I'll pass the awards on soon, after playing blog catch-up. I'm supposed to share 7 facts about myself. This part is always fun!

My 7 facts:

1. My favorite items of clothing are my most worn-out, holey skirts that I layer with other skirts and bustle and dress up with crazy tights and pirate jewelry. What surprises me most is the amount of people who stop me to tell me they love what I'm wearing!

2. I collect unicorns and fairy figurines, vintage jewelry, feather hairpieces, crazy tights, and corsets.

3. My least favorite chores are putting away the clean dishes and folding the laundry. But I love to sort. I'll happily sort all the laundry into piles and baskets, but I'll do anything to avoid folding them.

4. In 1st grade I wanted to be a zookeeper.

5. I've never seen a scary movie in the theater.

6. I want raw salmon nigiri and quail egg shooters. Like, all the time.

7. I break my toes a lot and I'm still walking around on an unhealed broken foot.

Well, that's it for now! Oh, except for one more thing: REVENGE PICTURES! If those girls are going to post my embarrassing pictures for the world to see, I simply must return the favor. Don't you agree?

She totally does look like her.

Beginning of summer, she was bored enough to color her eyebrows red! It didn't wash off for days either.

Emily's famous troll face!

I'm Still Here...

2011-08-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

At first I was like...

But now I'm all...

Yes, that's really me. If you ask me in a comment, I'll tell you a funny story about that picture!

So this is just a quick post to tell y'all I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. I also haven't forgotten it's SparkFest blogging week, but I haven't had much of a chance to blog lately. My mom's coming to visit on Friday, and I'm trying to get my house clean! Also, I got hit with a bad dose of the blues that totally derailed me for a week or so. I'm usually able to manage my chronic depression, but this time it was pretty debilitating. I'm on the upswing though, so things are okay. Just trying to get everything put back together before I can start blogging and writing again. Talk to y'all soon!

Music for Writing (Steampunk Edition!) - Vernian Process

2011-08-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Haha, get ready to see me turn really geeky. So my WIP is a steampunk book, and I've posted here a few times on its progress, and a song or two that helped shape the plot and inspired a few scenes. Ultimately, the first steampunk band that inspired Cobalt was Abney Park, with their signature song Airship Pirates. This was when steampunk music was still fairly new to me. With pirates already being among my favorite things to geek out about, I loved the idea of pirates on AIRSHIPS! Freaking awesome. Once the plot got going, the whole pirates thing got relegated to a minor plot element, but is still in there.

A couple years after Abney Park, I discovered Vernian Process. I've already posted the song that inspired Cobalt's first chapter, Behold the Machine. Now I love the lead singer Josh's voice, but he's said that he's heard comments that his voice can be a bit off-putting to new listeners of the band. He's even stated that he dislikes all of their earlier tracks where he sings, after getting lessons and becoming more a singer rather than a musician who happens to sing on some of their songs. I still think his voice has a unique quality, and after seeing them in concert, I know how much fun he has with his music--how much fun they all have. Anyway, since writers also try to improve their craft and strive for improvement, I can understand what Josh means when he's critiquing his earlier work. I HATE some of my earlier work! LOL

Behold the Machine does seem to be a little bit weird to a lot of my non-steampunk friends, so when I explain who Vernian Process is, I don't usually recommend it as a first song to listen to. Below I'm posting a bit of their music that I think is great to introduce people to the band, and to the steampunk music genre in general.

Unhallowed Metropolis is my current favorite VP song. There's also an awesome instrumental version which was featured in an equally awesome steampunk animated video.

Who wouldn't love the beautiful piano playing in The Maiden Flight (actually a four-parter)? This song is a dream of flight in the clouds on an airship.

The following is hands-down VP's most fun instrumental, in my opinion. Their cover of Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag is my favorite. (Plus the kids love it when I play this video on the big-screen.)

Now this one is just fun and wicked! Fans of Ray Bradbury will recognize the subject of Something Wicked (That Way Went). Martin of VP cracked me up when he told me he hoped the artwork wouldn't scare Anya. (They remembered her from their concert. Not very much scares Anya!) I would love to know who does their cover art, though.

Vernian Process makes up a large percentage of the songs in my Writing For Steampunk playlist. I think their sound has contributed to the feel of the story, as it evolves, more than most of the other steampunk or pirate music I listen to while writing. Just like the obvious fun they have creating their music, I'm having a blast with this story! I'm glad I decided to take a break after writing the first two Moongate books, to finish Cobalt.

Now I'm going to take a brief paragraph to plug my friend Jolene's new collaborative blog. Jolene has been sweet and awesome enough to take some time out of her very busy, published-author schedule and give me some great opinions on The Moongate that have helped me improve it even more. If you love YA, especially YA contemporary, go support Jo and friends!

A question about Blogger's comments...

2011-08-18T00:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick question. Some of my friends aren't able to comment on my posts. I have it set so all registered users can post (these friends are members of Blogger), and until tonight, I had a word verification set up. I've removed this precaution, even though I hate spam, because I was thinking this might be part of the problem. Has anyone else had this problem with Blogger's commenting? Do you know how to fix it?

On Deleting Your Scenes (including a deleted scene)

2011-08-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

"Kill your darlings." The link applied to that phrase leads to a great blog post by someone else describing what the phrase is all about. I had a chapter in The Moongate, Halloween, that I loved so much I refused to delete it when I was going through the hack-and-trim stage of my rewrites. I thought the chapter was funny. "It's character development!" I'd cry in defense of the chapter when my subconscious, who knew better, kept telling me it was useless.

Finally, I listened to the quiet part of my brain that knows better. Halloween was 2800 words of worthless character development that was holding the story back. Absolutely nothing happened in that chapter to drive the plot forward, except for my main character getting her crush's attention. I easily found a way to do that somewhere else using fewer than 200 words. I closed my eyes, apologized to my beloved chapter, hit the cut button--and then pasted the words in a "deleted scenes" document. Sometimes I go through those scenes and scavenge phrases or dialogue that I can use somewhere else. Other times I re-read them, laughing at the terrible writing and first-draftiness of it all.

I just re-read Halloween last night, and wondered what exactly it was about that chapter I loved so much anyway. It was kind of corny, and dragged on. But there is one small scene that sticks out in my mind. It remains a favorite, even if it will never have a place in The Moongate.

* * *

Eva grabbed my arm so we wouldn't get separated. “Let's get some soda--oh, no. You're kidding me. What is that?” She pointed toward the snack counter.

Behind the counter, a bloody abomination took orders, tossing packets of candy to the clamoring crowd. “Drew!” I yelled as we approached. “What are you supposed to be?”

Drew's grin wrinkled the heavy makeup covering his face. He pressed a dangling eyeball back onto his eyelid, where the adhesive was coming loose. “Can't you tell, little sis? I'm the quintessential horror movie victim: every cliché you can think of on how they kill, maim, dismember, knock off, and fatally injure those poor fools, all in one body.” He struck a few poses so we could admire his genius.

I pointed at the large, stuffed bra strapped to the outside of his football jersey, with a bloody knife sticking out of it. “Um, what's with the . . .”

He shook his head. “Nissa, Nissa. Haven't been watching enough scary movies lately, have you? Don't you know the first one who gets it is always the dumb chick with the big--”

“You know what?” Eva interrupted. “This is a good reason why you haven't been able to get any dates.”

“Really funny!” Drew glowered around his hanging eye. “Are you gonna get some snacks, or what? Unless you want to help behind the counter. There's only three of us to that horde of zombies you call your classmates there.” He gestured at his co-workers scurrying to keep up with the candy orders.

“We'll get some drinks and some Reese's,” Eva said.

Drew handed over our snacks. “Go brush up on your horror now. There are the classics on screens one and two, zombie movies on three, vampires on four, slasher films on five and six--”

“Yes, I know, thanks!” I took my soda from Drew, then jumped about a foot as he screamed; his hand came off with the cup and blood squirted on the counter. I grabbed the rubber prop and threw it into the popcorn machine. Eva and I ducked into the crowd before he could start yelling at us.

* * *

After you've let your first draft cook awhile, and you're facing the daunting task of cutting unnecessary scenes, don't let a sappy love affair with your own words stand in the way of your good judgement. Look at each scene with the critical eye of an agent or editor who couldn't care less how brilliant or funny that dialogue is if it's not pertinent to the story, and use your delete key like a knife and cut it out. Or save it in a deleted scenes file if you simply cannot bear to part with it forever.

I have 25 pages of deleted scenes for The Moongate alone. And, ultimately, I cut over 10,000 words from the first draft. I recently found out I can probably cut a little more. Muhahaha! I'm off to sharpen my knife.

Off-topic: Does the font look really small to you guys? I have it set to normal, which is between 12 and 14-point, but it looks tiny to me. It doesn't usually do that, so I'm not sure what's going on... Never mind, fixed it!

Friday Funkaay!!

2011-08-12T23:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know, I was kinda thinking it might be fun to share some music on Fridays, but don't count on me for consistency. Being consistent is not one of my talents. Neither is playing an instrument, although I'm obnoxiously opinionated and fanatic about that wonderful sound that comes out of the iPod.

I'm pretty passionate and a little bit persnickety about the music I love. About a month ago we found this lovely little puzzle adventure game, Machinarium, and got hooked. The soundtrack alone, which you can also download separately, is worth the small price for the game. I like to listen to it when I'm writing because it's relaxing, atmospheric, and doesn't distract my mind like a lot of music would.

Here's my favorite piece from Machinarium's soundtrack, Clockwise Operetta. I freaking love the title!

On an unrelated note, I'd like to thank Abby Fowers for giving me a interview today in her blog Something To Write About. That was lots of fun! I'll be returning the favor and interviewing her for my blog in the near future. Don't we all just love learning new stuff about our fellow writers? :D

Also, thanks to David Powers King for giving me the Blog on Fire award! The meme questions he answered were seriously cracking me up! I may just answer those questions myself...

Mah blog! It's on fiah!

Coming up: Monday it's my turn to blog at ANWA Founder & Friends. I'm going to share an embarrassing story about something that happened when I was at that awkward and clumsy stage in my life--no, not last week! When I was 14 or 15. And the story will artfully segue into a short lesson on not making your characters stupid. So check that out!

Also, check out my friend Jolene Perry. She's freaking out over her upcoming book's new cover, for good reason, and has just sold a couple more manuscripts as well. I am all kinds of jealous and happy for her!

Aaaand the Spark Blogfest starting August 22nd...

Boo Hoo

2011-08-10T03:38:00.000-07:00

Johnny Depp can be a crybaby on my blog any day!

Okay, I'm not ashamed to admit it doesn't take much to make me blubber. Anytime we're watching a sad movie, TV show, or commercial with sentimental music, my kids will turn to stare at me, and if I let out the tiniest sniffle there will be a chorus of "Are you CRYING?" Kinda ruins the moment.

But yes. I even got a little choked up while looking up the videos to these Top Three Scenes That Made Me Bawl.

(Disclaimer: Spoilers may occur in the following text and video.)

#1. The song Uncle Iroh sings in Avatar: The Last Airbender. (Yes, I'm an Avatar geek.) Avatar is full of scenes that make me go wah, but this one is the most memorable. I've seen this episode at least four times but it never fails--just when Iroh chokes up, my waterworks turn on. Time to pretend I got a cat hair in my eye, or the kids will start to point and laugh. Totally not fair, it's a sneak attack because the rest of the episode is silly and hilarious, and then WHAM, this little scene ambushes you out of nowhere.

#2. Ending of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I had a feeling the story would end tragically for at least one of the main characters. Still, it felt like someone had clomped me over the side of the head with a hammer. The kids had to pause the DVD while I finished sobbing so I could make it to the end credits. Beautiful, beautiful story.

I hate when embedding is disabled for Youtube videos. :(

Click this instead.

#3. Doctor Who: David Tennant's last scene. SO many crying moments in Doctor Who, but I didn't want to say goodbye to #10. This was one of the rare moments where the kids weren't laughing at me because they were all crying as hard as I was!

Honorable mention (and only because it's not out on DVD yet, or I'd totally be posting that video too): Snape's memory montage scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2. Snape's death scene didn't actually get me even though it was very tragic and horrible and well acted--probably because of all the girls who've been romanticizing him ever since the first movie, even though in the books Professor Snape is supposed to be gross and greasy, and definitely not a sexy, conflicted soul with amazing hair--I digress. Anyway, those girls screamed and squealed and ruined the scene for me. (Cursing annoying kids in a movie theater with a plastic wand doesn't work, by the way). But the scenes in the pensieve, when Snape found Lily's body and was, himself, sobbing. Oh my dear goodness. Kleenex time.

When I'm drawn into a great emotional scene in a book, it's just as easy to lose it and cry as I would during any sad scene in a movie. Fred Weasley's death scene in the book--I think I actually felt physical pain at that one. I was still reeling from his death when I got to the part where Harry sees Lupin and Tonks' bodies in the Great Hall, and I don't know why I didn't just put the book down for the night. I was torturing myself.

Several other books have made me cry throughout the years--some I read in my early teens, yet I still remember the scenes that affected me: Moreta: Dragonlady of Pern; The Masterharper of Pern; Heart's Blood; The Once and Future King; Flowers in the Attic; The Sleep of Stone; Bones of Faerie; The Hunger Games. And many others, I'm sure, that I'm not remembering.

What books or movies have made you lose it? Have you written any sad scenes in your own work that have either brought a tear to your eye, or hopefully tears from your readers' eyes?

Gon' Get My Spark On

2011-08-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hey, everybody! Guess what?

plus

equals

At last! The perfect opportunity to get you inside my head (oh, the horror!) to learn a little more about why I'm crazy about writing. Or just crazy. You decide.

Starting August 22nd. I can't wait for this.

I Liebster, You Liebster, We All Liebster...

2011-08-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

My thanks to my cool new friend Abby for giving me the Liebster Award!

The Liebster Award (meaning "friend" in German) is meant to connect us even more and spotlight new bloggers who have less than 200 followers—but hopefully not for long. The rules of the award are:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog.

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet—other writers.

5. And best of all – have fun and spread the karma!

So I'm sharing the award with my fellow sisters in writing (there's no reason I'm not sharing with a brother in writing, other than that I don't have many male writing friends):

1. It's Just Me, Isn't It? ~ Sharon's in my ward at church and always has something fun to say. She's a riot in person, and I love reading about her opinions and all her little slices of life!

2. Mama Pike Sez ~ Mother-in-law of Aprilynne Pike, author of the Wings series, I met Kari through ANWA and she's been a great friend who always has great advice and tips to share.

3. Ranee' S. Clark ~ Ranee's in the western chapter of ANWA with me, and I think if we ever got together at a writers' conference or something, we could wreak all kinds of havoc. Her blog is full of great writing stuffs.

4. The World's Worst Blog - Compliments of Claudia Culmone ~ Certainly not the world's worst blog, I recently met Claudia through a mutual friend. Although she lives in my town, we haven't met in person - yet. I think fun would be had!

5. Use Your Words ~ Elizabeth is a sweetie, and writes equally sweet romance! Give her a little push to start blogging more often. ;)

Now that I have your attention, I'm going to add my favorite blog award picture. I know I've posted it before, but I love it so much it bears repeating!

I Have Caved to the Masses

2011-08-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I did something I swore I'd never do. In the past, I had made solemn, public vows to never give in to pressure, and I'd raised my head proudly, looking down my nose as more and more of my friends started doing it. So last night, conflicting emotions of shame and excitement fought for dominance in my head. My 18-year-old kept looking over as I typed away on my keyboard, sniffing in disdain and calling me a follower of the masses.

Yes, that's right. I finally joined Twitter.

But, I protest, as I scramble to defend myself, one of my friends got an agent by starting a conversation with her on Twitter! Many of my writer friends make valuable contacts with this social network, even more so than with Facebook. They use it as an important networking tool to keep their followers updated on their writing and to spread the news about writing contests, trends, etc. I decided it was time to jump on the bandwagon and see how I can use it to achieve my own nefarious ends.

Besides, I found out through Robert Brown's tweet (lead singer of my favorite band) that his little girl thinks hippos eat white marbles. That alone was worth joining!

So if you tweet, twiddle or whatever, or engage in any of form of twittering twaddle, please follow me! Or add me, or however they say it over at tweedle-land. (In case you haven't noticed, I have no idea how to use this thing, no clue what the hash marks or @ signs mean, but I figure the knowledge will come in time.) I'm following a huge total of 6 people right now, and have an absolutely staggering number of ZERO followers myself. My little blue bird is lonely!

Click on the picture to get to my Twitter page. :)

And, while I'm on the subject of following, I want to throw out a huge, fluffy THANK YOU to the new followers of my blog! I've had like 6 new followers in the past couple of days, and y'all don't even know how happy that makes me. Somebody reads my blog! :D I follow anyone who follows me, so if I've missed your blog for some reason, shoot me a message. Or tweet @ me. (Did I do that right?)

An Agent Pitch Contest I'm Entering--Wish Me Luck!

2011-07-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's an update of where I am now in my querying quest: 18 queries awaiting an agent's answer; 42 rejections in total (3 of those were in the last couple of days). But who's really counting, right? I set aside two nights a week to fire off query letters and research agents. The rest of the time I sit on the couch, cradling my laptop, chewing my fingernails to the quick, and obsessively checking my email every few minutes. No, not really! That was me two years ago. I only check my writing inbox two or three times a day now. ;D

So to break up the monotony a bit, I'm entering my second-ever contest! (The first was for Amazon's Breakthrough Novel award, and a massive fail). My awesome friend Jolene sent this through ANWA's group. The agent, Victoria Marini, sounds like someone I'd like to have represent me. With my pervasive test anxiety and inferiority complex, I used to shy away from contests but now I figure I don't have anything to lose. I think I have a pretty decent pitch, Jolene critiqued my query letter and told me it's stellar (Jolene's the query letter queen), and I have the completed and polished manuscript ready for any agent willing to have a look.

Here's the link to the pitch contest. I don't have long to wait: The winners are announced August 1st. Now to sit back, not chew my fingernails, take a deep breath, and keep on doing what I love best: listen to music and write!

Whee! Look at My Characters! (and a plug for an artist friend)

2011-07-29T01:49:00.000-07:00

Okay...I used to be a rather good artist, but then some kids came along and started hogging all my time, and I decided I'd better pick just one hobby until they all grew up and got out of my house. So, since I'm slightly better at writing than I am at drawing--also since I couldn't paint flesh tones to save my life and then digital art came along and when I saw all the awesome digital stuff done on Deviantart and realized I had no hope of competing with the younger, art tablet-savvy artists there--I decided writing was definitely more up my alley.

I'm sure many writers like to see their characters on paper or a computer screen, rather than always in their own heads. I know I do! Plus I'd just finished Blood Moon and felt I deserved a little something other than rejection letters to reward my hard work. My friend Dana Hill, Albinoshadow on Deviantart, who has done some amazing drawings of the members of Abney Park, does commissions at very good prices, and needed some help after a big move to another state (where she gets to hang out with Abney Park sometimes, grrr jealous Kristin is jealous). So I threw some money at her and told her to get to it. ;B Dana is really good at anime-style art and whipped up an awesome colored drawing for me super fast.

I freaked out when I saw it! Nissa's wings are just super cool, very fun Fey ears, perfect facial expressions, and the eyes...LOVE LOVE LOVE. If anyone else wants to help Dana get on her feet in her new home, click HERE to see her work and her rates.

Turn the Last Page, Close the Book. Open Another One

2011-07-25T23:38:00.000-07:00

Early this morning I typed the last sentence in my second book, Blood Moon, the sequel to The Moongate. I'd been planning that particular sentence for a very long time, and writing that final scene felt just as great as I'd always imagined it would!

Next on the agenda: query The Moongate like mad, while letting Blood Moon sit on the shelf for a while before the rewrites. I still have over 200 agents in my list I haven't queried yet. Funny I should be starting another round of querying when a recent piece posted by my friend Marsha Ward, the founder of the American Night Writers Association, liberated me from the anxiety of querying. She listed the reasons she chose self-publishing and e-publishing over traditional publishing houses. Sure, a big publisher and a prominent shelf at Barnes & Noble would be great, but so is the idea of complete control over everything I write, including marketing, cover art, and when and how I'll publish. Plus I know I'm a good enough self-editor, and have some great critiquing friends, to ensure that if I do end up self-publishing you're still going to get a great read.

I'm now certain that I'll be happy with whatever road my books eventually take to publication. This feels great, because it means no more tears and self-doubt with every rejection letter I receive! I just hope querying doesn't take too long, because writing is too much fun to put on hold. Especially since I'm planning to take a break from Moongate to finish my steampunk dark fantasy!

Funny Junk!

2011-07-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Let's take a break from writing. My daughter Lia had a film class in her senior year. They had to pick a movie for the semester and make short films based on it. Lia's chosen movie was Disney's Hercules. Her movies ended up being too hysterical not to share!

The first was a mashup of Hercules and Pirates of the Caribbean. I thought it was amazing how she almost perfectly synched the voices and sound effects.

Her second movie was done in the style of the Kid History videos--also hilarious, check them out!

The next movie is one of the funniest. There's really no explanation for the madness, just watch:

The last video (there was actually another one, a stop-action with clay, but she didn't like how it turned out so she never uploaded it) is a silent Western (she knowingly took some liberties with sound effects), and incorporated clips from the previous films as a class requirement. Yours truly is in it! Don't miss the bloopers at the end. Yes, those are my everyday clothes. Yes, that's my real butt running down those hills, and it was scary. (My butt was also nominated for Best Actress. No joke.)

Please comment, because I have no life and I love your comments, and tell me which was your favorite!