The Moongate's beginning:
The wind rattled the coffee shop’s door as if it were trying to get in, making me jump and spill hot chocolate all over my backpack. I grabbed napkins from the dispenser and mopped the chocolate up, then wadded them into a sopping ball, which I tossed at the garbage can. It hit the side with a juicy splat and slid to the floor.
Middle (hee hee):
“Hey, you have irrepressible instincts too,” I shot back. “Might I remind you of Mom’s flower beds you couldn’t stop peeing all over last summer?” If he answered, I didn’t hear him. I was already running down the hill. The Gate pulled me in like I was attached to the other end of a rope.
Aaand, the end. You saw it here first. Except I'm thinking of changing it slightly, not sure yet though:
The moon was rising. Its light embraced me, converting to magic that danced around my face and arms in silver-white sparks. I hurried over to my tree’s roots, where I would help the others find the source of life so they could plant her back in the soil where she belonged.
A part of Aronaur, where both of us belonged.
And now for Cobalt, my WIP. I'm actually going to post the beginning of the second chapter, since I posted the entire first chapter not very long ago. Chapter two takes place several years after the death of Kate's mother, which takes place in the first chapter, so it could almost be considered a beginning.
Auntie Gerta was a big woman, pale and solid like a whitewashed wall, a wall which now towered over Kate as she washed the breakfast dishes. She jabbed a pudgy finger between the girl's shoulderblades. “Don't think I'll let you off easy after yesterday's mischief.”
The middle:
Kate turned her head and saw Ania nearby, leaning against the lower deck's railing and staring down at the trees as intently as if she'd just dropped a sack of gold. Other crew members were arrayed along the deck, so she withdrew slightly back into the compartment but continued to look in the direction they all faced. A distant scream cut through the motors' humming. Ania tensed, swinging her crossbow in the direction the sound came from. Another shriek followed the first, louder and closer. Kate had thought it to be a human scream at first, but then realized it was coming from the forest.
The end - which isn't the real end, obviously, just the latest paragraph I've written:
“The sea air does something to calm the forest.” Ania reached up and grasped a twig. It wrapped around her wrist, its leaves waving feebly around her hand, but she easily broke it free and flung the twig to the ground. The branch crept closer for a moment, then gave up and settled back into the canopy. “And most of the Cobalt lies deep within the country, near your village, not so close to the coast. It’s the Cobalt, you know, that makes the trees come alive.”
Also, go check out my latest post at ANWA Founder & Friends. It's probably boring or something, because I need some comments! LOL Give them a follow if you feel inclined. My fellow ANWA bloggers have some great insights on writing, our LDS beliefs, and life in general.


I really like that last story, I'm itching to read more!
ReplyDeleteWow! Really liking this! And I will go check out your other post at ANWA :)
ReplyDeleteI REALLY like Cobalt. I read about it first on Abby's site. All of your stories are wonderful!
ReplyDeleteNice! Some very interesting ideas here. I'm loving this peep at other writers work.
ReplyDeleteHey, fellow campaigner.
ReplyDeleteSome pretty interesting stories around those beginnings, middles, and ends.
So...I love this. A lot.
ReplyDelete:)
Ohmygosh love love LOVE your eye for description and sentence flow. SO talented.
ReplyDeleteI will say that I think the 1st paragraph from your 2nd WIP is more interesting as a 1st paragraph. Your 1st paragraph from your 1st story is beautifully done, but doesn't grab me the way that it could.
Thanks, all!
ReplyDeleteAnnalise, I've noticed that about the first paragraph in my first story too. I've been fussing and fussing with it, hopefully will come up with a great hook someday!
Great writing! You have a unique way of using detail. Your second story sounds very exciting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking part in the blogfest!
Thank YOU, Kate! Wanna do it again! LOL
ReplyDelete